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Want A Career Change? Why Not Become A Human Paintball Target?

Want A Career Change? Why Not Become A Human Paintball Target?

Looking to break away from the nine-to-five slog? Love the great outdoors? Think you've got a high pain threshold?

If you answered yes to all of the above, this may just be your dream job. Stag do organisers StagWeb are looking for human targets to test their paintballs on.


Credit: StagWeb

If you live in the North East of England, you could be one interview away from an active job with free lunches. Granted you will have to spend the best part of the day getting blasted with paintball guns, but it's a small price to pay, right?

Even if you don't fancy taking on the job yourself, you can nominate someone you know for the position. Annoying co-worker? Pain-in-the-arse sibling? Mouthy mate? Get them signed up.


Credit: StagWeb

StagWeb's director of operations, Steve Roddy, told Newcastle's The Chronicle: "We're looking for an outdoorsy type who wants a new challenge. Body armour can be supplied... but we're not going to. We need someone who can tell us how the impacts feel and are happy for people to nominate someone they think truly deserves the job."

The successful candidate will be kitted out with a face mask, a T-shirt with a target design on it and will be fed a 'post-carnage lunch' after each session.

On its site, Stag Web lists the key details as follows:

"Running - The ability to run at speed is required to test the speed of our paintballs.

Standing Still - In case we miss when you run.

Bruising - You should have the capacity to bruise well (and clearly), so that we can keep accurate records of the effects of incoming shots.

Pain Tolerance - We don't want you crying like a big Jesse.

Building Relationships - So that you can avoid anyone nominating you as a Human Paintball Target in the future.

Uniform - You will get to keep your uniform, consisting of a white T-shirt with target design (overalls, facemask and helmet also provided).

Free Lunch - You'll be served a post carnage lunch at each venue you visit."

Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, really. And given that you will only be subjected to a maximum of 20 paintballs per session, how bad can it actually be?

The company website says: "Where else will a group of grown men get to run around holding guns, shooting at each other without the old bill getting involved? It is total unabashed regression to the best of your childhoods with the added bonus of having brightly coloured ammo so you can see exactly where you hit your targets."

Yep, we can't argue with that.

Featured Image Credit: StagWeb

Topics: uk news, Job

Claire Reid

Claire is a journalist at LADbible who, after dossing around for a few years, went to Liverpool John Moores University. She graduated with a degree in Journalism and a whole load of debt. When not writing words in exchange for money she is usually at home watching serial killer documentaries surrounded by cats. You can contact Claire at [email protected]


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