Undertaker says ‘scaphism’ is the worst way you could possibly die

Buckle up your seatbelts, lads, this one is grim. An undertaker has revealed the worst way a person can be killed.

When you think abut dying, not that you should really do that on a regular basis but it helps to keep one grounded, the chances are you imagine slipping off into a peaceful sleep.

But while that's how most of us would like to exit this particular party, an expert in the field has revealed that some ancient civilisations had pretty gnarly ways of killing people.

Speaking in a Q&A, Caitlin Doughty, discussed the 'worst' ways to die.

Opening up the topic, she said: "Cross-culturally, the bad death tends to be somewhat the same - it's tragic and unexpected, a suicide, a homicide, a terrible accident.

Caitlin Doughty

"For the survivors, the worst thing could be when the body is never found and funeral and mourning rituals can't be performed."

Doughty then explained that the actual worst possible way of being offed was probably an ancient Persian method called 'scaphing'.

I mean, even the word sounds grim... and it certainly lives up to it.

"First, your body is stripped naked and you're put between two hollowed-out logs with your head and limbs sticking out," Doughty explained.

"Then they pour honey all over you and force you to ingest honey which attracts insects.

"Then they leave you in a stagnate pond to be slowly eaten - but they come back every day to forcibly feed you more milk and honey so you don't die right away, eventually succumbing to exposure, dehydration, shock and delirium."

At least you got to lather up in some milky goodness before you went, eh? Every cloud and all that.

But is this worse than the man who apparently suffered one of the darkest executions ever?

Classic Image/Alamy

That infamous title has long been thought to belong to Richard Roose, who was convicted of treason in 1531, having been accused of attempting to poison John Fisher, the Bishop of Rochester.

Under a ruling by King Henry VIII, which made poisoning punishable under treason, Roose was to be executed.

The standard practice for treason involved the criminal being dragged through the streets by a cart, then hanged, before finally having their genitals removed and their insides cut out.

However, poor old Roose was instead boiled alive. Come on, you knew it was gonna be bad.

Crowds gathered at Smithfield in London, where Roose was brought and dunked three times into a huge cauldron of boiling water until he was dead.

Topics: World News, History, Weird

Dominic Smithers

Dominic Smithers is LADbible's Editorial Lead. After graduating from the University of Leeds with a degree in French and History, he went on to write for the Manchester Evening News, the Accrington Observer and the Macclesfield Express. So as you can imagine, he’s spent many a night wondering just how useful that second language has been. But c'est la vie.

@SmithersDom