How ‘Santa Straddle’ position could land you in hospital as doctors issue warning this Christmas

After a watch of Love Actually, The Holiday or whatever film gets your romance going, you and your partner might be planning to get naughty before the real big guy comes.

Sure, you might think you’ve got the gift of being a top sh**ger in the sack, but it turns out you’re more likely to land yourself in hospital at Christmas.

Yep, doctors at Ludwig Maximilian University in Germany say there’s a significant increase in broken penises during the festive season.

I mean, imagine the embarrassment - you’d be the topic of conversation round the Christmas dinner table for years to come if you end up in A&E with a snapped d**k.

It’s serious though, obviously, with doctors telling Metro that the ‘forceful bending of the erect penis during aggressive sexual intercourse featuring unusual sexual positions’ could destroy your very merry Christmas vibe.

Apparently, an ‘audible crack’ followed by severe pain are the key signs of a penile fracture.

And it apparently sees a whopping 43 percent increase in commonality during the festive season.

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In your attempt to spice things up like a lovely mulled wine, perhaps you’re planning to try out the ‘Santa Straddle’ position.

But like the doctors say, it has the potential to ‘snap’ a person’s manhood. Festive.

Either way, after a stressful few hours of family arguments, some fun sex with your partner might help let off some steam.

Ok, so as recommended by Bustle, this 'Santa straddle' sees the partner with the penis laying on their back, with one leg bent. The other can then climb aboard, facing away in the reverse cowgirl position.

Straddling their thigh, they then slide up and down – almost like going down the chimney.

It’s said to be one of the best positions for female orgasm, as well as allowing one of you to lay back in a food coma.

Oh, and the Santa Straddle might need a decent helping of lube to get going.

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But while you’re doing this, just be careful as that’s how injuries happen. Although, don’t be fooled, as no actual bones are harmed in a penile fracture.

Medical director Dr Earim told Metro: “Now let’s begin by correcting one common misconception, ‘boners’ don’t actually contain any bones.

“Your penis consists of three cylindrical tubes. Two of these are sponge-like tissues that expand and become rigid with blood to produce an erection (the corpus cavernosum).

“When this tears or breaks, it causes a penile fracture, with the blood inside the erection leaking out into other areas of the penis.”

The NHS says that penile fractures require emergency surgical treatment.

Topics: Christmas, Sex and Relationships, Health

Jess Battison

Jess is an Entertainment Journalist with a love of all things pop culture. Her main interests include keeping up with the Twitter girlies, waiting for a new series of The Traitors and losing her voice at a Beyoncé concert. She graduated with a first in Journalism from City, University of London in 2021 and has previously worked at MyLondon.

@jessbattison_