A man is attempting to sell a painting he claims is ‘cursed’ on eBay for just $50 (£37) and claims it has ruined his life.
Of course, that’s probably not the greatest sales pitch you’ve ever heard, but that doesn’t mean that some strange person won’t go out there and snap it up.
Dan Smith – not his real name – calls himself a ‘collector of weird things’ and says he purchased the painting at a flea market from a woman who even warned him that the painting was bad news.
Failing to heed her warning, he bought it anyway.
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Honestly, look at the thing, it’s not even a good piece of art.
Now, Dan regards his choice as an ‘ultimately bad decision’ and claims the painting has had a detrimental effect on his life.
He says the picture of the two terrifying dolls originally reminded him of ‘rebirth’ but now he believes it ‘only represents the end of things’.
If that’s not selling it to you, perhaps his eBay description might.
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Spoiler: it won’t.
It reads: "BEWARE CURSED Vintage Painting Dolls Art Creepy Eerie WARNING 1967.
"The woman at the flea market warned me before buying this and I will warn you – no good can come from this painting. I didn’t think much of it at the time and just assumed she was one of those oddball dealers hawking their wares for cheap.
"As for the painting, it looked adorable, with two innocent-seeming dolls portrayed in it… but she was right - don’t be deceived.
"I don’t know whose cursed blood was mixed in with the paint to create this piece, but its powers are strong."
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After getting the painting into his house, he claims he went on an ‘epic losing streak’ including lack of sleep, discovering an insect infestation in his house, and the death of his beloved hamster, who had previously been in ‘perfect health’.
Dan says he was hit by ‘sickness, loneliness, sleeplessness and uneasiness’ and believes that the only recourse left to him is to get shut of the creepy picture.
His description continues: "Something has to change and because the only difference in my life since everything grew so dark around me was buying that painting, I feel the only remedy to all of this is to rid myself of it.
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"But why pass it on and continue such a terrible legacy you ask?
“Why not destroy it you wonder? Well sure, setting the painting on fire could rid the world of the wickedness brought about by the piece, but it could just as easily unleash the evil.
"Who’s to say that by burning it I’m not just going to make things ten times worse?
“No, I don’t want to risk that, I’d rather sell it to some poor soul who doesn’t believe this story, or, even scarier, some brave soul who does.
"For the details on the piece - it comes with the frame, it is dusty since I never got around to cleaning it off after hanging it.”
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It concludes: "As for that artist, it is signed with the initials MNP 3-67. Of course, that could also just stand for something like 'Many Nightmares & Phobias,' which is what the artwork leads to.
"I'm starting the auction at $50, which is what I paid for it but am hoping it goes for more to make up for everything I've been through. But before you bid... you've been warned!”
Honestly, someone will buy it.
You can be absolutely sure about that.
Tom Wood