Selling yourself to potential romantic partners is never easy - but one man's bizarre callout for a woman who is 'vaguely attractive and intelligent' and 'not mad' is getting attention on the internet for all the wrong reasons.
The eyebrow-raising dating ad appears to have popped up on a flyer in a London coffee shop, and was shared on Twitter by podcaster and author Hajar J. Woodland.
It is signed 'The Management', though it's more than likely a prank by one of the man on the poster's friends, intended to line him up for an online roasting.
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The ad read: "Dear customer, do you know any single, straight-ish young women who live on, or around, [anonymous] Street?
"[Redacted], employee of the month at [redacted] and best known for his excellent customer service with a smile is single and lives off [redacted] Street.
"He is ultimately waiting for Katy Perry Garfield to set him free from his slavery in [redacted], but in the meantime he is keen to pass the time on amiable dates with eligible local women.
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"Partly because having lived off the street for 10 years he has yet to so much as go on one date with anyone else who lives nearby and also because he is lazy and cannot be bothered to walk far or get on the bus to meet people."
It's not a good start, it has to be said, but from there the ad only gets worse.
It continues: "[Redacted] is 40 years of age, has three social science degrees from Oxford University (including a PHD), owns his own flat, helps run an art gallery, and does minor writing and film projects on the side.
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"The kind of woman he has dated in the past tends to be in their 30s, and vaguely attractive and intelligent. His ex-ex-girlfriend was probably too weird, and his ex-girlfriend was probably too normal (even if she turned out to be mad).
"So ideally the sort of young woman he would date would be a bit weird but also a bit normal but not mad (and not a Friday night drunkard trying to forget themselves)."
The ad concludes: "If you do know any single, straight-ish women who live on or near [redacted] Street who might be available for a date with [redacted] please let us know (you will be rewarded for any successful leads)."
The ad is unlikely to be successful if the responses of women on Twitter are anything to go by.
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One commented: "Things wrong with this: the font; the grammar; the description of the exes - if everyone you date is crazy perhaps the common denominator is you; 'you will be rewarded for any successful leads'; everything else."
Another said: "Dear god. I can only hope this has been done without this man's knowledge or consent. Otherwise it is tragic beyond belief. Some people watch too many rom-coms..."
A third wrote: "Do you think straight-ish means is ok with kissing girls for his entertainment, as long as he's not scared you'll leave him for one?"
It looks like the guy will remain single for a good while yet.
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LADbible has contacted the London coffee shop for comment.
Featured Image Credit: TwitterTopics: Funny, Community, Weird