Legendary comedian Sir Billy Connolly has revealed the hilarious message he would like written on his gravestone, and the one his wife told him he couldn't have.
Sir Billy will turn 81 next month but today is an occasion to break out the good biscuits as it's the day his new book gets published.
Titled Rambling Man: My Life on the Road, the book is full of stories from Connolly's travels around the world.
Advert
At time of writing, it's currently sitting at the top of Amazon's list of bestselling opera singer biographies, pipping Ross Kemp's Take Nothing For Granted to the top spot and rather suggesting that Amazon has a pretty loose definition of an opera singer.
Anyhow, in the book Connolly also talks about the prospect of death and the idea he'd like to have something interesting to read on his gravestone.
In an excerpt from Rambling Man: My Life on the Road, published in the Daily Telegraph, Connolly wrote what he'd like to be put on his gravestone when he does shuffle off this mortal coil.
Advert
He wrote: "I was thinking I'd like: 'Jesus Christ, is that the time already?' on mine, but my wife Pamela was shaky about it, so we settled on 'You're standing on my balls!' in tiny wee writing.
"As for me - I haven't made up my mind about my burial place, but I'm thinking that instead of a headstone, a table on an island in Loch Lomond for fishermen to picnic on would be nice."
"I used to think about death, and about the life I led, and would ask myself, ‘How will I be held responsible for it when I come to judgment before God?’ I don’t believe that any more, although the whole thing is still a mystery to me."
Connolly also poked fun at some of the more common things people get written on their gravestone, describing the epitaph 'Forever Young' as 'pish' as we're 'forever decomposing'.
He thought 'Forever Dead' would be 'more fitting' and likewise thought 'Asleep' was a load of 'hogwash'.
Advert
In the book Connolly said he enjoyed reading the headstones in graveyards and particularly appreciated the 'funny and savage' ones, noting one he really liked which told people: "Stick your nose here and I'll set about you."
Sir Billy was diagnosed with Parkinson's several years ago and said two years ago that he was 'sure' there was a life after death.
The legendary comedian told The Guardian that in recent years he's 'just got a feeling that there is' and people 'don't just turn to s***e' when their time on Earth is over.
Rambling Man: My Life on the Road is available to buy now.
Featured Image Credit: Samir Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images/Mike Marsland/WireImage/Getty ImagesTopics: Celebrity