Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide which some readers may find distressing
A member of the Sidemen has spoken about his suicide attempt in a new Netflix documentary about the group.
The Sidemen are a YouTube group consisting of seven members: KSI, Miniminter, Zerkaa, Behzinga, Vikkstar123, TBJZL and Wroetoshaw.
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The supergroup have been producing content together for over a decade, celebrating their anniversary on 19 October 2023 with a huge blowout party.
To mark the special occasion, the British content creators also announced earlier this year that there would be a documentary titled The Sidemen Story coming out on Netflix.
Spoilers for The Sidemen Story ahead
Released today (14 February), it candidly looks back at the first 10 years of the Sidemen, as well as their origin story and their rise to fame, covering any personal or group issues that the members ran into during this time.
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The Sidemen Story doesn't shy away from any sensitive topics, seemingly covering all bases.
One particularly heartfelt story from the documentary is one from Behzinga, real name Ethan Payne.
Payne revealed that he once came close to taking his own life one night due to his depression from his lifestyle, job, and the online abuse he was getting due to his weight.
The 28-year-old said he got to a point where he was 'not happy at all', spending £250 on marijuana every week, with bottles of Jack Daniels whiskey disappearing quickly.
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One night, it got too much for him and got into his car, drunk, and drove off with no warning.
Speaking in the documentary, Payne said: "I knew I was a burden, a s**t person to be around,
"It was tough mentally. I've had the thoughts of 'this is s**t', if I wipe myself off, then this all ends. It's really dark right, cause I knew there was a big bridge with concrete pillars on it,
"So, that was the 'oh I know where I can do it' and that's a horrible thought process."
TBJZL, real name Tobi Brown, gave his perspective of that night, saying he got a knock on his door from Payne's girlfriend at the time, who explained that he had gone out after drinking, leaving him stuck on whether to call the police or not as Payne would have got in trouble for drink-driving.
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Miniminter, real name Simon Minter, revealed that the event had them all 'fearing for one of our best friend's lives'.
In the end, Payne broke down crying and couldn't go through with it, calling it a 'relief moment', as he could finally tell someone that he had 'reached his limit' and he needed help.
He attributed his initial dealing of the situation to his pride, and being afraid to admit that he was not okay.
"Just speak to people, you have to do it. You have to open up, you have to speak to people," Payne urged.
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Friend of the Sidemen Calfreezy said that the story made the friendship group stronger, as they are now more aware of what each person is going through, calling it a 'wake up call'.
Payne went on to have an impressive body transformation following the scare, losing 36 kg and eventually became a Gymshark athlete, while giving more attention to his mental health.
If you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.
Topics: Mental Health, Netflix, TV and Film, Documentaries, Social Media
Joshua Nair