Ross Kemp has revealed he was once forced to eat raw chicken by an El Salvadorian gangster after accidentally proposing to their younger sister.
Yeah, there's quite a lot to unpack there, so let's start at the beginning.
The ex-EastEnders star was out filming with the MS-13 crew in El Salvador, when he bought a 'fluffy gnome' soft toy for the younger sister of gang leader Chucho.
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However, what Kemp didn't know was that according to local custom, giving her the gift was taken as a marriage proposal.
Who needs a diamond ring when you've got a fluffy gnome, eh?
And when the 57-year-old discovered what he'd done and explained to the gangster that he wasn't actually popping the question, the bloke did not take the news well.
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Speaking on the Off Menu podcast, Kemp said: "Chucho's sister gave me this soft toy. I went and bought her one, but what I actually was doing was getting engaged to Chucho's sister.
"When I explained to him I had a girlfriend, Chucho was unpleased.
"So Chucho got out this grilled chicken with a salad... and I look at my piece and it's pinker than my bald head.
"So I put my fork into it and blood comes out. He's waving at me with a very large pistol so I start eating the chicken."
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And the show wasn't over yet, because once back at his hotel, Kemp knocked back some antacid but sadly was hit by some pretty unpleasant aftereffects from the chicken.
"I was like a Roman candle at both ends, spraying pink," he revealed.
Lovely.
Earlier this month, Kemp opened up to LADbible about the brutality of being in Haiti during an outbreak of cholera.
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He said: "I was in Haiti for an outbreak of cholera, and - no disrespect to the dreadful scenes that have happened here - I was out with the body collectors just putting people into the back of trucks."
Describing the heartbreaking scenes, he added: "I remember being behind a van and I was looking at the feet sticking out of the back of the vehicle.
"Cholera is a bacterial infection, so even after you're dead, whereas a virus may die on someone - and I'm not an expert on viruses by any stretch - bacteria will exist in body cavities long after that person is dead.
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"They weren't getting the information out to the general populace that when the body was being taken away they'd kiss the body, so we'd go back the next day and pick up four more bodies.
"Unless you block the nose holes with chlorine that has been pushed into cotton wool - and I mean all orifices, a***hole, ears, nose, mouth, everything - they're still infectious."
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