Health condition that stopped 'cursed' Virgin Island participant having sex explained

After being an absolute hit last year and leaving us all jaw-dropped with each episode, Virgin Island has finally made its return.

The Channel 4 show sees 12 young people who struggle with intimacy anxiety working with sex therapists to confront their issues.

Among them is Joy, a 22-year-old practising Christian who deals with religious shame and a health condition that has contributed to her not having sex.

The event co-ordinator from Falmouth has been diagnosed with vaginismus, which she reveals in the show she used to believe God had actually ‘cursed’ her with ‘to stop her from having sex’.

The bisexual woman says she feels ‘like a freak’ and works with the therapists to overcome her religious shame and treatable condition.

What is vaginismus?

While the condition can be treated, it’s not necessarily widely talked about and Joy tells LADbible people initially assume she’s ‘joking or lying’ because it doesn’t ‘seem plausible to them’.

The main symptom of vaginismus is the vaginal muscles tightening up on their own when something tries to enter the vagina - and as well as being upsetting, it can cause a burning or stinging pain.

It’s not just limited to penetrative sex either, but with tampons or during cervical screenings.

The NHS explains: “Vaginismus is an automatic reaction, which you do not have control over. Occasionally, you can get vaginismus even if you have previously enjoyed painless penetrative sex.”

Anyone with a vagina can get vaginismus and while the reasons are not always clear, some things thought to cause it include the likes of anxiety about having sex, assault, a painful experience and believing sex is shameful or wrong.

Joy says it was her primary reason for going on Virgin Island as she just wanted to ‘make some progress’.

“I felt like I was losing hope,” she explains. “I had been in a relationship and still hadn't been able to work through it.”

For her, Virgin Island was a ‘little light at the end of the tunnel’, as it just might ‘get better’.

Joy opens up about her religious shame on the show (Channel 4)

Treatment for vaginismus

Vaginismus is, in theory, curable and treatment usually focuses on feelings around vaginal penetration and exercises to gradually get a person used to vaginal penetration.

Treatment can include psychosexual therapy, relaxing techniques and sensate focus.

Pelvic floor exercises and vaginal trainers (like dilators) can also be used as the treatment methods focus on relaxation, gaining control and changing the way people feel about their body and sex.

Joy says she was previously prescribed medication that was a ‘bit helpful’ and while her specialist was ‘amazing’, her appointment wait times were particularly long, leaving her ‘exhausted’.

And during one particularly ‘frustrating’ appointment, Joy was told to ‘come back when you have a partner because it’ll be really much easier to work through it then’.

“I was not planning to sort of find a partner out of somewhere and just to kind of get higher up on a waiting list,” she says.

Joy worried it might seem 'controversial' to be going on the show but has had a positive response (Channel 4)

Joy’s experience with vaginismus

Appearing to make great progress within herself on Virgin Island, Joy is raising the awareness of vaginismus with her very presence.

“I just don't think we speak about women's health enough,” she says.

The participant adds that there’s often the misconception with vaginismus that it can be ‘really quick’ to treat’.

“And I've had some crude comments off people being like, ‘I can sort you out’,” Joy says. “Like this sense from certain men thinking, ‘Oh but if I just try, if I just try and stick it in there maybe it'll open up for me magically’.”

Having had her time on the show, Joy has now learned regarding her vaginismus that she’s ‘not broken’.

‘There's just no shame in wanting to experience pleasure’

“My body isn’t broken, it’s working as it’s kind of been taught to do,” she explains. “Through certain religious messaging, cultural messaging, certain traumatic events that have happened. It’s my body responding to situations that have happened and it’s not broken for doing that.”

Learning this on the show was a ‘really big thing’ for Joy as she adds: “There's just no shame in wanting to experience pleasure and you know, it makes sense why my body wasn't ‘cooperating’ because I wasn't I wasn't really allowing myself or feeling like I was allowed to experience pleasure.”

Always seek advice from a medical professional if you have any concerns.

Virgin Island airs on Channel 4 from tonight (27 April) at 9pm.