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What's the one thing you always wish you had around the festive period? You've already got a case of the finest ales, had a drone last year that you became really bored with, really quick and an unlimited supply of pigs in blankets are a given.
So, there's only one thing left and that's to light up your beard with Christmas lights, right?!
If you've been blessed with a good chin of facial hair (unlike myself, thankfully) this is surely going to be top of the list.
Firebox is selling beard fairy lights that flash (added bonus) meaning they're definitely better than any Christmas jumper and for just £10.99 ($14) they're probably fucking cheaper lets face it.
The lights are battery powered and the pack is small enough to hide and clip onto your facial hair - now I've seen many men with pretty decent beards but there is no way a battery pack would be hidden in there. That's stuff for the bearded Gods.
You can also change the colour of your twinkling lights - did someone say colour co-ordination Tuesdays?
You won't have to hang the lights individually either as the set of 18 multi-coloured nano LED lights are suspended on a 90cm cable that clips onto your beard painlessly. Time-saving as well. We've got a win win situation on our hands here.
They are just like normal fairy lights, but miniature so they nestle comfortably in your facial hair.
Firebox do issue a warning about using the heatless lights though. They note that you should give them a miss if your beard is wet or if you're outside and it is raining. If you reckon that's a given, you'd be surprised how many people wouldn't think of it.
They also ask you to be careful if you wear them while partying as they say 'a little bit of Buck's Fizz won't hurt, but don't get hosed down with the stuff like you're Lewis Hamilton'.
A similar product on Amazon has been receiving amazing reviews.
One customer said: "Absolutly hysterical and was one of the main talking points during Christmas in our house. Lovley bright LED's, good functions and apparently the clips were comfortable!"
Another added: "Bought as a joke gift for Christmas for my daughters husband who has a very bushy beard. Thought the kids would love it."
A third customer said: "Brilliant product, bought for my hairy son. Lit up his night shift!"
If Christmas lights aren't appealing to you why not try baubles? Well, Beardaments to be precise. They are baubles and trinkets that you literally weave into your facial hair - although there is no hard and fast rule about which hair you could weave them into - and let hang loose.
If that appeals to you (and you've got more money than sense) they could be yours from around $10 (£7.80).
The collection comes with 12 festive fancies to clip onto your facial fuzz to - they say - 'get your beard excited for the holidays'.
If you're in the UK and don't fancy waiting until your Beardaments can be shipped from the USA, you can buy them online at places like ASOS as well for a relatively reasonable price.
Let's face facts, any price is too much.
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