‘Normal’ amount of sex people should be having as impact of not having it shared

How often should you be getting down and dirty? It’s the question that has been asked many times but now the experts have weighed in, and you might just be surprised.

While everything we see and hear points to people having sex all the time – that's not always the case.

From music videos to the song lyrics, TV shows and celebrity relationship turnarounds, it can feel like everyone else is doing it way more than you.

But that’s the thing about love lives.

What really goes on under the sheets of anyone else is only known to those who are underneath.

For the rest of us, it’s simply a guessing game, and one we’re not particularly accurate with.

Thankfully, Married At First Sight star and sex and relationships expert Charlene Douglas told LADbible that this isn’t an uncommon question to have.

“So oftentimes, I'll go to a bar and people will find out that I'm a sex therapist and they'll say to me, ‘How many times should you really be having sex, like, in a week?’

Charlene said there are some common questions she gets asked (LADbible)

“And they're all waiting for my answer. Everyone leans in, waiting for me to give that number to work out whether they're in the normal range or not.”

However, she says there isn't a 'sexual script' to follow.

Douglas says, 'Statistically speaking', once a week is the average frequency for most couples.

Surprised?

She said the number can increase or decrease based on things like stress and financial struggles.

“If you're not having sex in your relationship, it doesn't mean it's all doom and gloom. It might just be that you need to have a conversation if that is important for you,” she said.

So what happens if it's less than once a week, or maybe not at all?

It impacts more people than you might think.

According to one study, 22 per cent of women and 16 per cent of men aged between 16 and 74 aren’t getting any.

Long periods of abstinence might cause some physical changes to happen, according to experts.

For women, that can include experiencing dryness.

Issues like stress and money worries can make people have sex less regularly (Getty Stock)

Dr Narendra Pisal, a consultant gynaecologist at London Gynaecology said: "The vaginal lining is dependent on oestrogen and with declining ovarian function and reduced levels of oestrogen, the vaginal glands stop producing mucus fluid and moistness. As a result, the vaginal lining becomes dryer and more delicate.”

The expert added: "Keeping an active sex life where possible is much more likely to help with a healthy vaginal mucosa.”

Annabelle Knight, Lovehoney’s sex and relationships expert, told Metro that men might experience random erections: “Spontaneous or nocturnal erections are completely normal, and they happen whether you’re sexually active or not."

“During celibacy, they can actually be a reassuring sign that everything’s functioning as it should. They’re not necessarily linked to sexual frustration or unmet desire; they’re just a physiological process, much like stretching your muscles after a long day.”

So what happens when you're not getting any? (Getty Stock)

However, it's not all bad, as celibacy can also improve some people's mental health.

“For many people, it’s a time of rediscovery - focusing on self-care, confidence, and pleasure in other forms, from solo exploration to emotional connection," says Annabelle.

“Everyone’s needs and timelines are different, and periods of celibacy can be really positive for some people.”

It can also boost your immune system.

According to Medical News Today, abstaining can not only boost your immune system, but it can also reduce blood pressure and lower stress levels.

So, if you're going through a dry spell, try not to worry too much.