Woman who blew £195,000 on drugs and alcohol explains what finally made her get sober after starting drinking at 13
Warning: This article contains discussion of alcoholism and drug addiction which some readers may find distressing.
A woman who once had a four gram bag of cocaine split open in her vagina has shared the moment that made her turn her life around.
Natasha 'Tash' Peacock, 40, had her stomach pumped after her first drink aged 13 and her relationship with alcohol and drugs eventually led to a 15-year addiction that cost £195,000 and to her and her children being evicted from their home.
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Though drinking in her teenage years was exacerbated by working in bars at home and in Spain, it started to really spiral out of control after she had her first child and her relationship broke down.
What started with one bottle of wine after putting her son to bed slowly escalated to the point that on a 'normal day', Tash would sink three bottles of wine or Prosecco every night while taking cocaine and hardly eating.
Costing her £250 a night.
Tash, from Eastbourne, East Sussex, always ensured her children were fed and clothed, but every other spare penny from her £1800-a-month benefits was spent on booze and cocaine, speed or ecstasy.
"I was drinking anything I could get my hands on. I was stealing alcohol and drugs," Tash said.
"I would wake up and not remember putting the kids to bed. I wouldn’t remember getting into bed myself. I’d wake up on the floor.
"My mental health was awful. My physical health was awful. I got to the point where I didn’t want to be alive anymore."
Tash and her children were eventually evicted, forcing her family to sofa surf until they found a new home.
The turning point
The realisation that things needed to change came in January 2017 when, after taking ecstasy early in the morning of a third day of binging, she attempted to look after her 10-year-old son and two-year-old daughter while under the influence.
Tash said: "I couldn't find my daughter, and she was sitting in the kitchen her pink pyjamas, with her beautiful blonde hair, completely innocent in all the chaos of the bottles and drugs in there from the night before.
"It hit me like a lightning bolt. I realised I didn’t want this any more, not for me and not for them."
Though there were relapses on her road to recovery, Tash has now been alcohol and drug-free for more than eight years.
How Tash got sober
Tash's sobriety journey began with daily walks with her children, getting her out of the house where she did most of her drinking, and getting exercise instead.
Though Alcoholics Anonymous didn't work for her, she found community elsewhere and used visual mind exercises to help get her where she wanted to be.
Now she's a qualified personal trainer and recovery coach, helping others overcome their addictions with her company, The Clear Head Club.
"I thought I would be dead before I got sober," Tash said, recalling a dangerous moment when a bag of cocaine opened up while it was smuggled in her vagina as she went into a nightclub in Ibiza, dissolving directly into her blood steam.
She added: "We told everyone what had happened and laughed about it at the time. Then we went back to the hotel and carried on drinking and taking more drugs.
"When I got home, I thought my heart was going to burst. Looking back now, I can’t believe I didn’t die."
Now Tash and her children live in a stable household with financial security.
She added: "Now I wake up and think, ‘thank you.’ I’m so happy to be alive. I can now pat myself on the back and say I am a good mum, because now I really am."
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Daniel Murphy