Bear Falls Through Ceiling Into Child's Party, Eats All The Cake
Everybody stop what you're doing! We've finally found the perfect news story. Sure the Brexit saga is as captivating as it is terrifying (WTF BORIS!) but did an actual bear fall through a ceiling into a child's party and eat the birthday cake during the referendum? No it didn't.
Metro reported that the juvenile male black bear came crashing through the Alaskan family's skylight, straight into the party of an infant called Jackson.
If you name a child Jackson it's hard to argue that you deserve anything less than the odd bear scare. Parents should know better.
After everyone left the room scared, the bear seemed unphased. He stayed in the room for a while to eat the family's lemon, blueberry and peanut butter cupcakes.
When the home owners finally got the bear out of the house, he just wandered off, full of cake and probably buzzing off sugar and e-numbers.
Merrill told local paper, Juneau Empire: 'I was literally in the room and I heard this cracking. The next thing you know, there's this bear that, I mean, literally fell right from [the skylight]. It was like one metre away from me.'
After a little while the bear returned. "He was up by the window like, I want more cupcakes'," homeowner Alicia Bishop said.
In Alaska this is apparently pretty normal. Just like you're likely to find a fox bin-dipping in a Tesco car-park during a drunken 4AM walk home, in Alaska stumbling across a bear is commonplace.
"There probably isn't a neighbourhood or place where we have homes where the potential isn't there for you to run into a bear or observe a bear," Ryan Scott, from the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, told CBC.
I was hoping to fill this article with bare puns but there are actually a severe lack of bear puns. If you can think of any, put them in the comments.
Words by Matthew Cooper
Lead Image Credit: PA