Joe Harker
Did you know that the average size of a blue whale's penis is longer than the world's current tallest human is tall?
Quite why you need to know this and what you're going to do with this information I could not possibly fathom, but someone told me to write about this and here you are reading about the proportions of a blue whale's dick.
The appendage is commonly given a size between 8ft 2 inches and 9ft 8 inches, meaning that the average length of a blue whale's penis would go further than the current tallest person in the world.
That would be one Sultan Kösen, who had a tumour affect his pituitary gland which resulted in him standing at 8ft 2.82 inches tall.
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He's not the tallest man ever to live, as that honour goes to Robert Wadlow, who in his height of 8ft 11 inches was able to outstrip the average blue whale penis size, but not the longest length they could reach.
If you're wondering why this topic of conversation has come up so to speak, it's because that font of knowledge, wisdom and productive discussion that is Reddit has been conversing about the size of the blue whale's penis.
Some folks were frankly astonished by the dimensions of the blue whale's ginormous dong - though not so flabbergasted as to miss the chance to joke 'still not 'nough for yo mama'.
Someone else lamented that it made them feel 'inadequate', and was quickly consoled by a kind commenter who reassured them that they had a larger penis than a gorilla.
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That's right, while a gorilla could absolutely have you in a fight, you could die knowing your banana was bigger than his, for what good that might do you.
Others wondered whether a whale's penis could be used as a unit of measurement, and what it might be applicable to.
Meanwhile, contained within the post was a picture of a blue whale's penis which had been severed and mounted on somebody's wall.
This drew much speculation as to the sort of person who decides that a gigantic phallus is a suitable home decoration.
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General consensus was reached that one would likely have to be a gigantic phallus to think that such an object was a thing to have displayed on a wall.
Of course, it is pretty difficult to actually know whether our notion of the average whale's penis is accurate or not, as there are very few people who measure blue whale boners.
Blue whales are also very much not showers, preferring instead to hide their massive dongs inside their body and bring it out for sex.
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Meanwhile, the largest ever recorded blue whale penis was somewhere around 16ft.
Once again, do with that information what you will, and thank you for dedicating a portion of your precious time to learning more about whale dicks.