Featured Image Credit: Prasit Rodphan/Jacob Lund/Alamy Stock Photo
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Reddit
Jess Hardiman
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Reddit
A woman who works with cheaters for a living reveals whether men or women are more likely to be disloyal, based on her own experience as a therapist.
Claudia Delgado is a licensed therapist who ‘specialises in working with people that have cheated in their marriage’, working with people in California and Florida who reach out to her online.
She recently took to Reddit to share the secrets of her trade, saying in an introduction to her AMA (Ask Me Anything) that she felt cheating has become ‘easier’ in the modern age.
“Lots of marriages unfortunately deal with infidelity,” Delgado said.
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“With the use of technology, cheating has become easier.
“Many people are hurt during an infidelity in a marriage. This includes children, the betrayed, extended family/friends and many times the person that cheated also.
“I provide a non-judgmental space to work through the root cause of the cheating, work through navigating relationships, assist with indecisiveness and/or shame, and process the pain, both of cheater and pain caused by cheater.
“There are many reasons why some people cheat in a marriage. People need help through that journey.”
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Naturally, many users had questions for Delgado, with one asking her if she had seen more men cheating or more women cheating, based on her experience and the people she's worked with.
“In my experience, I see more women,” Delgado replied.
However, she explained this didn’t necessarily mean it was a general rule of thumb, adding: “But that does not mean more women cheat.”
Someone else also asked about the difference between emotional and physically cheating, and whether or not the 'approach to healing' is different, or if the two posed the same challenges.
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Delgado said: "I do work with people whom have been in emotional affairs. The healing process is the same and I can add the emotional affairs tend to be more difficult as many times the cheater falls in love with the AP [affair partner]."
The therapist said it was hard to offer up a specific success rate for marriages after an instance of cheating, but said it can be 'high' if the unfaithful party is 'remorseful for not only hurting their partner but also for the actual affair AND The betrayed partner is open to the healing process which could be very painful'.
She added: "People just don’t talk about it. There is a shame associated these days with staying with someone that has cheated. Society says, 'Once a cheater always a cheater' or 'if you stay, second time is your fault'.
"So many people experience infidelity and quietly work really hard to come up on the other side. But this is when BOTH people are actively working on relationship."