Thinking About Your Parents When Having Sex Is 'More Common Than You Think'

As we’ve all learned, sex is definitely not anything like it is in the movies – or porn for that matter. 

There’s an array of unromantic moments that happen to even the most sex-happy partners. From the likes of queefing to post-nut clarity, everyone has had their fair share of awkward moments under the covers. 

But apparently, thinking about your parents when having sex is one of those less-than-fun occurrences in the bedroom – and experts say it’s ‘more common than you think’. 

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Pippa Murphy, a sex and relationship expert at condoms.uk, has reassured lovers that having wandering thoughts about your family when getting down and dirty is completely normal. 

Murphy said: “It's a lot more common than you may think and mostly happens to people that find themselves in a positive and happy relationship. 

“If they have a good relationship with their parent(s), they may subconsciously think that their partner would make also make a good parent, which is why they think of their parent during sex.”

She adds: "It's actually a compliment and a sign that you feel safe and comfortable with the person, just as you do with your parents.”

However, if these thoughts come into play if you’re in an unhappy relationship, or simply hooking up with someone, Murphy notes it could be ‘a major red flag’.

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Elsewhere, in other situations, these thoughts could be related to sex-related anxiety. 

"If you're having sex with someone you shouldn't or somewhere you shouldn't, it could be a sign of anxiousness at the thought of your parents finding out and making a judgment. 

“This is especially the case if you grew up with a parent that told you off for doing things you shouldn't have done.

"Or if you're in a relationship which isn't stable enough for you to have considered your partner as a potential parent (yet), then thinking of your parent during sex is actually a form of self-sabotage. 

“Your subconscious mind doesn’t want you to enjoy having sex and is, therefore, telling you that something isn’t right.

"It's important to take note of this intrusive thought as your gut is rarely, if ever, wrong."

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Dr Deborah Lee has echoed these thoughts, telling LADbible that ‘thinking about your parents during sex is actually not uncommon’. 

“It could be because you have had a happy upbringing, have a great relationship with your parent, and are subconsciously starting to think of your new sex partner as someone you would like to be a parent with,” Dr Lee from Dr Fox Online Pharmacy said. 

“Alternatively, it could mean, that you know your parent would disapprove of your current sex partner.

“It might signify anxiety, as perhaps in the past your parents were controlling about your relationships, and you are remembering being told off, or having a family row.

“However, some say this reflects the fact you feel comfortable in your current relationship and want it to continue – which has to be a good sign!” 

The more you know.