Sit down everyone, we need to have a serious conversation about wiping our bottoms.
Whether it's front to back, back to front, to fold or to scrunch, it seems there are many number of opinions when it comes to cleaning one's rear end.
That's not forgetting of course the so-called 'eternal wipe' where, no matter how many times you wipe, things just never seem to be clean down there. Nightmare.
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However, a pelvic floor physiotherapist has explained that the 'eternal wipe' may actually be a bad habit, and you shouldn't need to wipe more than three times. This is of course not accounting for 3am kebabs which just don't sit right from the get go.
Three times, it turns out, should be sufficient no matter what level of punishment the porcelain has taken in the preceding few minutes. Any more than that could create more problems around one's chocolate starfish further down the line, and no one wants that.
These include things like haemorrhoids, which can be caused by excessive wiping.
In a video uploaded to TikTok, a pelvic floor physiotherapist who goes by the name of George, explains everything you need to know around the number of wipes you are doing on the toilet.
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She starts the video by saying she will tell viewers how they will be able to reduce the number of times you wipe while going for a number two.
A huge relief for a lot of us.
The physiotherapist said: "When you are wiping more than two or three times, that is called faecal smearing.
"So it is essentially when too much faecal matter stays at the entrance of the anus even after you have finished your poo."
So, essentially you still have too much poo left around the entrance even after you're done. That clear?
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However, there is a technique that you can also use to minimise the amount of wiping necessary.
She explained: "A technique that you can use to reduce the number of times you wipe is by squeezing your pelvic floor in a waterfall formation.
"So start by squeezing the anus 20 percent, then 50 percent, 80 percent, and 100 percent, so that you have squeezed it four times at the end of your poo."
She continues: "This can help close off the anus sphincter, which is the reason you are having little bits of stool hanging on the entrance - it is usually from weakness from that external sphincter."
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And of course, if this doesn't work then she advises you to get it checked out by a medical professional.
People have been reacting to the toilet advice in the comments on the TikTok, with many making jokes out of it - as you'd expect from the internet.
One person joked: "My problem is I’m as hairy as Chewbacca. It’s like wiping peanut butter off a Persian rug."
And a second person reminisced on the old days of TikTok: "I remember when this was a dance app."
Us too friend, us too.
Kit Roberts