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Owner Posts Hilariously Honest Adoption Ad For 'Man-Hating, Children-Hating, Neurotic' Dog

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Owner Posts Hilariously Honest Adoption Ad For 'Man-Hating, Children-Hating, Neurotic' Dog

Trying to get someone to adopt a pet can be a difficult process because the animal might already have a personality.

But spare a thought for this woman who is trying to get someone to take care of her beloved chihuahua because it's, let's say...difficult.

Tyfanee Fortuna has posted a hilariously honest ad on her Facebook page begging for someone, anyone to take in Prancer.

While some people wanting to put up a pet for adoption will focus on all the animal's good traits, Tyfanee didn't sugar coat her dog.

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Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook
Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook

"I've tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound...palatable," she wrote. "The problem is, he's just not.

"There's not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there's someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family.

"Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home. He's literally the Chihuahua meme that describes them as being 50% hate and 50% tremble. If you're intrigued and horrified at how this animal sounds already, just wait....there's more.

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"Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him. I should have known in that moment this dog would be a problem."

Tyfanee explained that Prancer's former owner was an elderly woman who 'treated him like a human and never socialized him'.

When Prancer first arrived in Ms Fortuna's home, he was apparently too scared to showcase its...beautiful personality. But over time, the dog got comfortable and started showing who he really is.

"I am convinced at this point he is not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home," she. said.

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If you're wanting to adopt him, you will have to be a single woman who isn't looking to get a boyfriend, husband or kids, doesn't like to have friends or family over and doesn't have any other pets.

Tyfanee said Prancer only likes women and 'hates men more than women do' and also terrifies other animals.

Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook
Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook

"He's never been in the presence of a child, but I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body if he was. Prancer wants to be your only child," she added.

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Thankfully, there are some redeeming qualities about this dog but it's kind of polishing a turd at this point.

"He is loyal beyond belief, although to tell you a secret his complex is really just a facade for his fear. If someone tried to kill you I can guarantee he would run away screeching. But as far as companionship, you will never be alone again," she wrote.

Prancer apparently knows some 'basic commands', is quiet and isn't destructive when left alone.

"I know finding someone who wants a chucky doll in a dogs body is hard, but I have to try," she finished.

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So, everyone line up because this sounds like a slice of heaven.

Featured Image Credit: Tyfanee Fortuna/Facebook

Topics: News, Animals

Stewart Perrie
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