A mum-to-be cancelled her baby shower because her 'fake ass family' had been taking the piss out of the name she'd chosen for her unborn child. However, not only did she just scrap the shindig, she also went in HARD on the haters... Like, super hard - also lashing out at other people with 'boring' names.
A screenshot of the unnamed woman's online rant was published to Reddit on Saturday, where thousands of people have joined the debate.
Addressing her post to 'Members of the Squire Sebastian Senator Babyshower', the woman wrote: "It brings me pain to have to tell you this, but I am cancelling the event. I will text you soon if you're invited to my smaller, more inclusive party. At least here no one will judge me.
"Why? Why am I doing this?
"Because y'all have been talking shit about my unborn baby. AN UNBORN CHILD. How can you judge an unborn child?? What is wrong with you??
"To say this frankly, my friends and family have treated me like total shit. They've spread rumors and lies about my child. No, I am not crazy. No, I am not mentally unstable. No, I was not drunk when I named my child.
"His name is Squire Sebastian Senator. That is that. You cannot force me to change his name. This is the name I was meant to give him.
"No, this is not his full name. 'Squire Sebastian Senator' is only his first name. This is how it will be. He will not be allowed to have a nickname, he is to be called by his full and complete first name.
"I never knew my family could be so judgemental. We come from a long lasting family of both squires and senators. If you look back in our family tree, the survival of this clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators too. This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success."
And then, because going in on the family clearly wasn't enough, the woman decided to slam several other 'boring' names, probably in turn pissing off quite a large chunk of the population as well.
She continued: "My baby's name WILL be a revolution. It will push people to question everything. Why name your baby boring and over-used names like Joshua, Brian, Sam, Nick, Mark, Bella, Marina, etc... when you can name it something special.
"Squire Sebastian Senator will live a powerful, wholesome life. His confidence will not diminish simply because his name is out of the ordinary. Instead, he will be extraordinary.
"Fuck you all. Fake ass family. You won't get to be a part of my baby's life and it's all because you had to judge him."
I mean, don't hold back, love - tell 'em how you really feel.
Naturally, the Reddit community wasn't going to let this one go without a debate.
One person commented: "No one's talking shit about your unborn baby. They're talking shit about your poor naming choices."
Another added: "I'll say the same thing I tell any friend who gets pregnant: before you settle on a name, imagine growing up with it yourself."
Others took the opportunity to defend 'boring' names, with one arguing they have their 'perks', saying: "My first name was in the top five most popular names for baby girls in the US and UK that year. Everyone knows how to pronounce it and spell it, every time. It is impossible to fuck up. And it doesn't hurt my self-esteem that there's millions of other women my age with the same name. One's personality is what makes you unique. Names are superficial at the end of the day."
Another agreed, writing: "My name is about half a step down from the generic John Smith and I've grown to love it. I'm practically invisible on the Internet, there's just far too many of us."
Some others said that the name wasn't even that bad, given that we're in an age with 'Kardashian naming trends that everyone tries to copy', with names like Reign and Saint doing the rounds - also citing Beyonce and Jay Z's son, Sir.
"This is gonna be the new normal," the warned. "Prepare yourself."
They've got a point on that one. But then the rest of us can't get away with half the shit that the Kardashians, Beyonce and Jay-Z can, so maybe let's not use them as a benchmark, eh?
Featured Image Credit: PA
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