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Seriously massive banana is breaking the internet
Home>News
Updated 19:56 11 Feb 2023 GMTPublished 14:13 11 Feb 2023 GMT

Seriously massive banana is breaking the internet

Is it too early for this?

Jake Massey

Jake Massey

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A giant banana is doing some serious damage to the internet. That's how flipping big this banana is, big enough to smash up the damn internet.

The behemoth banana has been floating around social media like an enormous yellow turd, racking up thousands of likes from admirers.

It's been viewed by millions of people the world over; people who have viewed it with wonder, intrigue and envy.

So what you waiting for? Have a good old look at this bad boy banana:

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Sizeable.
Twitter/@BornAKang

As you can see, not only is it long, it's also straight, and packing some phenomenal girth.

Three hands are dwarfed by the towering fruit, which proudly stands firm with its skin peeled back.

In fact, bananas are actually classed as berries, making this the biggest bulging berry you've ever seen.

It could also be a plantain, but alas we don't know where this thing is so we can't call in the experts to do a proper assessment.

As you probably expected, thousands of the comments on the beastly fruit sausage are just pure filth.

"I want to stuff my face in this and eat it like a baby would eat cake," one person wrote.

"hm. perhaps i could study it in a lab in which there are no others?" another suggested.

And a third wrote: "How I like my men, Hung and Fruity."

Meanwhile, another Twitter user sort of skirted around all the suggestive, banterous discourse and simply commented: "my d**k is a scaled down flesh version of this."

For f**k's sake.

Don't worry though, not everyone on the internet is a randy and depraved banana coveter.

One pure soul commented: "Wow, that's a big banana! Could probably make a lot of banana bread with that."

Poor soul, they don't deserve to live among us.

What would YOU do with the big banana?
Twitter/@BornAKang

Now, I'm no banana expert, but it looks like this could be a banana of the bluggoe variety.

According to the African Food Network, this variety produces huge, straight fruits with a starchy texture, and although it can be eaten raw, it is primarily used for cooking in Burma, Thailand, southern India, and East Africa.

Based on the reaction on social media though, there are plenty of people who would be gobbling this meaty nana raw if they got their hands on it.

However, you may be surprised to learn that the bluggoe ain't even the biggest banana boy out there. The largest species is the giant highland banana, native to the tropical montane forests of New Guinea.

According to Guinness World Records, its main 'trunk' regularly reaches heights of 15 metres... too big that, isn't it?

Featured Image Credit: @bornakang/Twitter

Topics: News, Viral, Food And Drink, Sex and Relationships

Jake Massey
Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

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@jakesmassey

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