‘Ethical non-monogamy' is rising relationship trend that’s different to having an open relationship
We're living in an era of everyone sharing their relationship trends online, and ethical non-monogamy seems to be the latest label people are using to describe sharing partners.
Even with the introduction of the online safety bill, sex is still everywhere in our lives, whether it's on TV with documentaries featuring notorious OnlyFans stars or just in the latest smutty fantasy novel.
For most couples, the idea of sharing your partner is enough to make you feel sick, but others are insisting that trends such as swinging and hotwifing are helping to save their relationships.
Considering the UK recently held a huge 'Swingathon' festival, it's clear that this trend is here to stay, but there's actually a lot of subtle nuances when it comes to defining the sort of relationship people are interested in.
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And ethical non-monogamy is a definition that an increasing number of people are using to explain their lifestyle, as it sees them stick with the same loving partner, but both have sex with other people on the side.
The key difference between ethical non-monogamy and open relationships, or polyamory, is that developing feelings for another partner in this situation would be deemed very bad, as you don't want to form anything outside the bedroom with the people you're sleeping with on the side. Makes sense.
Jem, 45, and Daz Jones, 42, have spoken about their ethical monogamous relationship in depth, recently appearing on the popular Channel 4 show Open House: The Great Sex Experiment.
After starting practising ENM in 2022, the couple are now big advocates for it, and want to change the stigma about talking about sex.
Speaking to the Daily Mail, Jem said: "People have been conditioned to think that monogamy is the only way. Anything outside of that is seen as disgusting or shameful. But people are starting to say it's okay to have these desires—and you can explore them together, as a couple."
"We sat down and spoke about it and decided to go and explore this lifestyle together,' said Daz. "We didn't have the intention of sleeping with anyone else. We just agreed to go on a journey of discovery, go to some swinging events and see how it made us feel.
"I was deeply in love with Jemma, but admittedly, we'd reached that point in a relationship where we'd got past the early relationship high. You start to settle into more of a normal relationship, all about work and family, and neglect a really important part of our relationship, which is the sexual side of things.
"So when Jem brought it up, instantly for me, it's a failure on my part. I'm suddenly realising, 'oh, I've dropped the ball on this, and now she just wants to go and have sex with other people'."
While it took an adjustment period, both Daz and Jem agreed that they were non-monogamous people, but remain committed to each other and their children.
Daz explained some of the differences between being ethically non-monogamous, and having open relationships or being polyamorous.
He said: "We want that interaction with more than just our partner, but also want a deep monogamous relationship with each other, so we separate the two.
"There's social monogamy, which would be your relationship status. We are essentially a married couple with children. We live together, we live a perfectly normal relationship for all intents and purposes.
"Then we separate sexual monogamy, which is that we don't see that we need to be exclusive with each other, provided we follow the boundaries that we put in place.
"Anything outside of the boundaries we've set would then be considered cheating. We've just moved the goal posts a bit for ourselves."
While many would judge, it's reignited their sex life to the extent where they even now share content on OnlyFans, so all you can say is, don't knock it until you try it.
Topics: Channel 4, Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
James Moorhouse