"I was ashamed of my actions and what I'd thrown away by viewing illegal images."
When you hear someone say 'sex offender' it will most likely paint a picture of a certain kind of person
That description, of course, won't apply to any of us. But the phrase 'sex offender' could become frighteningly more relevant if you're not aware of what legally constitutes an indecent image of someone underage.
As you will no doubt know, the age of sexual consent is 16. However, you may not know that, when it comes to sexual imagery online (videos, pictures etc.), taking, making, sharing or possessing sexual content of anyone under the age of 18 is illegal. That's the law. Break it and you could end up on the Sex Offenders Register.
That's what happened to one 24-year-old guy who told LADbible how his pursuit of sexual gratification online led to a criminal record, the loss of his job, and limited access to see his own kid. This is his story.
Did you ever think you'd get caught?
No. I was complacent, as if I had viewed an image I knew was illegal and hadn't had a knock on the door within a week, I thought I must be ok. I would then look for more.
Were you ashamed of what you'd done or angry that you'd been caught?
I was ashamed of my actions and what I'd thrown away by viewing illegal images and who I'd affected.
Do you regret what you did?
Yes. At the time I wondered why I was viewing images but continued. I would use the images to masturbate and then regret it, however [I would] soon continue. After my arrest and conviction I was filled with regret about what I had lost, what I could have lost and the impact it had on my family. I know I'm lucky my family stood by me.
How did you start viewing sexual content?
I'd use my own laptop mainly visiting social media sites, particularly Tumblr. I started watching pornography between the age of 12 and 14. I also had a mobile phone that I'd use to text in the beginning before progressing to Facebook messaging and, when I was a couple of years older, I'd use my phone to view porn.
I would look for the shock factor. I began to look at more extreme porn as it wasn't the mainstream porn and that's what gave me the thrill.
Different types of images appealed at different times of my life. Once I lost enjoyment and became desensitised I would move on for more shock images to get the next buzz.
I knew what I was doing was illegal. However, I was then confused that a pornographic website would show a sexual image of a teenaged girl, so presumed that it was ok. I also thought that, as one person viewing it, what was the problem?
Did knowing it was illegal make a difference?
Yes, but it made me more secretive. I was careful that nobody would find out and was constantly deleting my history or wouldn't save the images. I wouldn't let anyone use my devices and all had passwords.
Did you ever think about the children in the images?
It depended on the images. If it was young children being clearly forced to do something they didn't want then I'd sit back and question why I was viewing it. But selfie images by teenagers who looked happy I thought were ok. When I was younger, I was unsure about the ages of what was illegal.
Did you try to stop?
My viewing would go round in circles since I had started. When in relationships it would reduce, differ or begin to build up. When my partner was pregnant I weaned myself off the illegal porn and stopped viewing it.
Did you think of the children as victims?
Yes, especially if they are forced. That is my view. However, having discussed this on my [rehabilitation] course I'm aware that some offenders do not view the children as victims.
What happened when you were arrested?
I was at work. They had originally gone to my home address and my partner told me. I was alone in my office. They allowed me to get cover and they spoke with my manager. Officers were in plain clothes and were discreet.
Can you describe your life before the offences?
I lived with my mum, dad and sister. No problems, although I struggled to settle in at secondary school as it was away from my home town. The rest of the week I was at home. I liked music, including playing the guitar. I had a small friendship group of about five or six people, of both sexes and met them at Uni. I was also friends with people that I'd met at a theatre group.
What has your life been like since you offended?
My partner was pregnant at the time I was arrested, I had zero contact with my daughter and I'm still not allowed to stay at the same address as her and only have limited supervised access.
It caused a lot of stress within my relationship and I attended a course that helped me talk and deal with it.
My parents were reluctant to talk about it but stood by me.
I lost my job.
I was unprepared for how I would financially struggle with having no source of income.
The police informed the theatre group of my offending as because I'd looked at images they were concerned I was a danger to children.
Do you think sharing your experience to show the consequences of offending might discourage others from doing what you did?
I hope so.
Remember, the people in these pictures are real children. Having their images splashed all over the internet could have a devastating impact on their lives.
If you see an image online that seems to be of someone underage, then do them a favour: visit the Internet Watch Foundation to anonymously and safely report indecent imagery of children online.
If you have been affected by any of these issues, more information and support can be found here.
Article produced in association with Cumbria Constabulary.
Featured Image Credit:Topics: homeoffice