Erika shares emotional new details about 'fever dream' death of husband Charlie Kirk one year on
Erika Kirk has shared the devastating reaction she had in the hours, days, weeks and months after her husband, Charlie Kirk, was killed.
Kirk was fatally shot by a rooftop sniper as he was speaking at a Turning Point USA event at Utah Valley University on September 10, 2025.
He was 31 years old and shared two young children with wife Erika.
Tyler Robinson will stand trial for the aggravated murder of Kirk and six other offences after pleading not guilty on Wednesday, September 2.
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A judge ruled prosecutors can seek the death penalty at trial.
Approaching a year on from his death, which was captured by video cameras and instantly shared around the world on social media, Erika has revealed fresh details on how she reacted in the immediate aftermath of the killing.
Writing an essay for the New York Times, Erika described the first 24 hours after Kirk's death as a 'fever dream.'
She flew home to Phoenix, Arizona, the following day to return to her children, who were not yet aware of what had happened to their father.
As she sat on the sofa where she had been with her husband and children watching the Chicago Cubs baseball team two nights earlier, she felt the first 'wave' of grief.
Many more were to follow.
Erika Kirk explains how she dealt with the death of husband Charlie Kirk
In the days and weeks that followed Kirk's death, Erika was met with constant reminders of her husband, which crashed more torrents of grief and sorrow down upon her.
Seeing his toothbrush where he left it in the bathroom, when she was eventually able to enter, and his towel on the hook which she vowed never to touch.
In the bedroom they shared, she stared at his pillow and wondered how long someone's scent would last on the sheets.
Erika couldn't bring herself to climb into the bed, so went and slept with her three-year-old daughter.
She didn't go back inside the bedroom for months.
As the months ticked by there came birthdays, public holidays, annual trips, Christmas, each bringing a new pangs of grief for her missing husband.
"The wave crashes on me again and again," she wrote.
The last milestone to come without Kirk was their daughter's fourth birthday, and Erika couldn't help but break down in tears as they sang 'Happy Birthday' to her.
"I hugged my daughter as she blew out her candle," she recalled.
"I wished he could’ve seen her. She held my arm and kissed me, and in that moment I realised that she was surviving her own little crashing waves, too."
However, Kirk came to realise that she had to start living her life again rather than just surviving it.
She has learned to not only recognise the waves of grief, but to embrace them as 'for a moment the grief makes Charlie feel impossibly close.'
"I am learning that grieving Charlie and living life at the same time are part of the rhythm of grief," she wrote.
"Grief is universal. It doesn’t care whom you voted for, where you come from or what you believe. Those who have walked through grief know that the waves never completely disappear; they aren’t supposed to. I am learning that grieving Charlie and living life at the same time are part of the rhythm of grief.
"I can miss him with every part of me and still laugh with our children. I can have a broken heart and still experience joy."
The key advice that helped Erika Kirk get through her grief for Charlie Kirk
Erika also revealed that she was given a key piece of advice in the wake of Kirk's death on how to deal with her loss by second lady Usha Vance, the wife of US vice President JD Vance.
Speaking to Vance earlier on the day she returned home, the day after the killing, Erika told her she didn't know how she was going to get through it.
She wrote: "As she held my hand, she said: 'You know when you’re on an airplane with your kids, and you’re going to land in 15 minutes, but the kids are going crazy, screaming, throwing things, and then the plane lands, and the kids relax, and everything is fine again?
'That’s how it will be. Just get through the next 15 minutes.'"
"If you are living through grief, I won’t tell you what to feel or that tomorrow will be better than today. I will tell you what a dear friend told me: Just get through the next 15 minutes."
Topics: Charlie Kirk, US News, Crime
Daniel Murphy