As 2018 draws to a close we have a late entry for the Men Putting Their Dicks In Weird Stuff category of news. Thank God for that, eh?
This time, we head to Świnoujście, Poland, where doctors were forced to call firefighters to help them remove a ball bearing from the penis of a man who was reportedly using it as an 'unconventional sex toy'. Well, it's certainly that.
The man, reported to be between 50 and 60, went to the hospital where he shocked docs by pulling out his member and showing them he'd managed to get it trapped inside a car's ball bearing.
The poor chap - and his poor chap - were at risk of necrosis, where cells die off, in this case due to being starved of blood.
With time of the essence, the medics called in firefighters as they had the right tools for the job.
According to local reports, firefighters took almost an hour to cut off the ball bearing and free the penis.
The man was then discharged, but not before he was given a little warning about where he probably shouldn't put his penis in future.
And it's not just this man who needs to learn that particular lesson - the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has just released its annual stats on A&E visits across the pond, which has an eye-opening list of objects pulled out of... places.
Some highlights - is that the right word? - from a list pulled together by Deadspin show a crack-pipe that had made its way into a penis, part of a telescope up an arse and a domino in a vagina. All of which must make for a very interesting 'what's happened here?' scenario in the emergency room.
When asked, one man said he managed to get 'a piece of hard white plastic' inside his penis after it broke while he was 'working with crafts'. Sounds pretty crafty to me.
Meanwhile, another potential patient turned up where she told medics she had 'inserted a crayon' in her vagina and 'couldn't remember if it came out'.
When it comes to things shoved up bums, the list gets even more bizarre (as do the excuses) with reports of a Christmas bauble, SD card and shot glass all somehow finding their way into people's butts.
Then there were excuses such as 'jumped on bed, toothbrush was on bed, ended up in patient's rectum'.
Stay safe out there, guys.
Featured Image Credit: CEN