How many times do we read about guys getting sex toys stuck in and on their bodies? Too many times, if you ask me. I mean, look, there's no judgement from me, whatever makes you happy and all that, but know your limits fellas.
Anyway, due to what I can only assume is a growing demand, firefighters in Germany are now being trained in how to remove cock rings and butt plugs. I bet that wasn't in the job description when they signed up, eh?
All jokes aside, having a penis ring stuck on your member is no laughing matter, nor is a trapped butt plug - removing the item will take a steady hand and a lot of concentration. So, to deal with such a delicate situation, emergency services are undergoing specialist training.
At a training event in Dresden, Germany, 600 firefighters were shown how to get to grips with a stuck sex toy.
Bizarre images from the seminar show a dildo, emerging through a heat-shield blanket, with a penis ring stuck on it.
Attendees of the 'Maschinenunfaelle' ('Mechanical Failures') training scheme learnt how to remove the ring without harming the man (OK, dildo, but use your imagination).
Instructor Eric Forberg, 39, explained: "Sensitivity and delicate work counts." I dare say you're right there, Eric.
Here's the science bit: the firefighters were first shown to bandage the penis, to avoid further injury from the flying sparks (yep - flying sparks), then a paste - able to absorb up to 4,000 degrees Celsius - is spread on the penis ring to prevent burns. Clever.
In total, the firefighters were told, the whole thing should take around 15 minutes.
One 36-year-old trainee, Matthias Lehnigk, said: "The training is not fun for us, but rather requires the utmost concentration. The patient is in enough pain, after all." Fair point, pal.
The training comes in to response to a surge in sex-toy related injuries. In recent months rescuers have been called to free crochet needles stuck in a man's urethra, a penis trapped in a bottle neck and even a case involving an apple inserted up a man's backside.
One weightlifter in Worms, Rhineland-Palatinate state, spent three hours having his penis removed from the central hole of an iron weight.
The 2.5kg (5.51-lb) weight had to be shattered using a grinder and then cut up with a vibrating saw.