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Intimacy coach debunks ‘red flag’ warning to people who post too much about their partner

Intimacy coach debunks ‘red flag’ warning to people who post too much about their partner

Whether on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or Snapchat, it's been labelled a massive red flag

An intimacy coach who spends her days helping people with relationship issues has debunked the 'red flag' warning that has been issued to those who post too often about their partner on the likes of Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat.

Social media exists as a way for us to share parts of our lives with our friends and family regardless of where they are in the world.

In that sense, it's a force for good and lets us show off the latest things going on in our lives with people we care about that may be thousands of miles away from us.

But with that comes a newer phenomenon of striding to achieve 'couple goals' and making sure people see you achieve them.

Bought a new house? Obligatory key in the front door picture with your partner is deemed a must. Same with a new puppy or, if you're even more serious, welcoming a baby in to the world.

Everyone can accept they are milestones in life anyone would shout about - but what about if you're in the camp of posting a little bit more relentlessly about your relationship?

American intimacy coach and hypnotherapist Katy Shelor has spoken out about those in this camp and whether that possibly hints at a problem.

And yes, we're talking about couple's Starbucks order and no, we don't need to see every single one you get (sorry, not sorry).

Katy regularly posts to her social media channels about ways you might be able to improve your relationship.

She also offers insights in to other parts of her life, such as attending 'spicy' cruise holidays where people share partners.

Katy Shelor has debunked the 'red flag' theory (Instagram / @kateshelor)
Katy Shelor has debunked the 'red flag' theory (Instagram / @kateshelor)

Taking to Instagram, Katy said: "Okay. So, the more lovey dovey posts a couple posts, is this actually a red flag? I wanted to talk about this.

"So there's a theory that, basically, the more couples are kind of over posting about each other on Instagram, for example, that they're actually compensating for something covering up some issues, the more likely they are to have problems.

"So, yeah, I think there's a couple elements to this."

Katy said that firstly, it's obviously not the case for everyone.

She also reminded viewers not to judge what they see on social media as a reflection of real life or something to be upset over if their life didn't appear as 'perfect'.

Katy regularly posts relationship advice on her social media platforms (TikTok/@kateshelor3)
Katy regularly posts relationship advice on her social media platforms (TikTok/@kateshelor3)

She continued to say: "Obviously, this isn't true across the board. Right? I get that.

"But I do think there may be a little bit of truth to it. First, you know, you have to always remind yourself not to get into the comparison game.

"So looking through other people's feeds and looking at their couple's romantic photos and their anniversary posts can make you feel like, oh my god. They've got it all figured out. Don't they?

"But we know that that's not actually true. Right?"

Katy added that there's 'no real research' on this topic, adding: "There's little bits and pieces are all around basically saying that too much gushing may hint at an insecurity at the very least. Where as for some people I think, you know, the sharing is it's just a positive."

"They're just happy and want to share, of course. But it's not black and white." she said.

Posting non-stop updates could be a cause for concern (Getty Stock Images)
Posting non-stop updates could be a cause for concern (Getty Stock Images)

Rori Sassoon, a premier matchmaker and the CEO of dating platform Platinum Poire, spoke to Brides about her thoughts on the matter.

She said: "Commenting and including your partner on everything you do is what an insecure or codependent relationship looks like.

"And if it’s your partner who is constantly commenting and including you on everything he or she posts, he or she is either trying to claim you as his or her property or showing signs of codependency."

Meanwhile, licensed mental health therapist Wale Okerayi added: "We live in a world where we like to share things that we are going through, in order to meet other people who are going through the same things.

"When it comes to relationships, this can be harmful.

"Posting about the good and the bad in your [union] not only gives people access to make assumptions and suggestions about your relationship, but it also gives people the freedom to say anything and ask anything about [you and your partner].

"Keeping some things private will benefit your relationship in the long run."

Featured Image Credit: Instagram / @kateshelor / Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, World News, News, Social Media, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, US News, Mental Health