World's biggest d**k pic won't be recognised by Guinness Book of World Records
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When something breaks a world record, you expect it to be recognised in the book designed for that very purpose.
Just to be clear, this isn't just a picture of the world's biggest d**k. I'm sure there are a tons of people out there who claim to have the perfect example of that.
Instead, this is the world's largest digital image - which just so happens to be of a penis.
It's been created by a Washington, DC-based developer, who wishes to remain anonymous and instead requested in an interview with BuzzFeed News that he be referred to by the name 'Eggplant'. And who am I to turn down a request like that?
The image came about after Eggplant came up with the idea to make an NFT in late 2021, but he wanted to have his 'own take' on the trend.
"I didn't want to follow the typical prescription of making a collection of 30,000 NFTs," he said, and instead wanted to make just one image.
Knowing he wanted the image to be 'proper silly', he came up with the idea to create a 'giant, huge, uncontrollably large cartoon penis'.
So that's exactly what he did.
Using his experience with massive data sets and imaging technology, Eggplant created an image with an area of 102,040,171,200,000 pixels - 290 times larger than the current record holder; an image of a zebrafish embryo which totals 351,063,244,800 pixels.
If it was printed in 3D, this penis would literally reach space - a claim not even the most confident men could get away with. The creator has insisted he never intended the image to be 'derogatory or misogynistic', saying it was more about 'playfulness'.
The world's biggest d**k pic took five weeks to generate using Eggplant's custom software, and once it was complete he decided to approach the Guinness World Records.
He succeeded in tracking down two independent expert reviewers to verify his record, but Guinness responded to say the image wouldn't make the cut.
It explained: "Our Records Management Team have completed the evidence review for your claim and the attempt would not be eligible per the record guidelines.
"The image contains large areas of repeated colour blocks and is not comprised of multiple unique images in the same way the current record was made up of 26,434 individually captured images. As such, the decision is that the image does not comply with the record guidelines and we, therefore, have no choice but to reject the claim.”
Eggplant appealed the decision, arguing the image is 'completely random and continuous' with 'no repetition', but Guinness didn't give in.
Looking back, the creator shared his thoughts on why that might be, saying: "I think they kind of got caught in a pickle because they said yes to my submission [because] I made it kind of sound medical. And then I gave them a big cartoon weiner. Of course, they were not happy about it."
Guinness has explained that it 'maintains a rigorous review process to maintain the integrity of each Guinness World Records title', though assured that Eggplant would be welcome to 'reattempt at any time'.
Until then, at least he can find comfort in his giant penis.
LADbible has reached out to Guinness for further comment.