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The Group That Owns Toblerone Explain Why It's Ruined Christmas

Patrick Hulbert

| Last updated 

The Group That Owns Toblerone Explain Why It's Ruined Christmas

So Toblerone has made an official statement explaining why it's decided to ruin our Christmas.

You know what a Toblerone is supposed to look like. A row of triangles, one after another. Good chocolate to space ratio. It was always reliable; it was always a constant in our lives. It's Swiss, FFS, the epitome of dull, boring and never changing, and we liked that. We respected that. We wanted that.

But what the flying fuck is this abomination?


Credit: Rob Lynn

Ah, but after more reading, I find that it's actually owned by Mondelēz International, a subsidiary of American chocolate group Kraft. And now it all stacks up. Coming over here, ruining our European chocolate.

Here's what the company had to say about it all.

"Toblerone remains one of the best value and most delicious Swiss chocolate products in the market.

"This is because we always work hard to ensure we offer value for money for our consumers, but like many other companies, we are experiencing higher costs for numerous ingredients.


"We carry these costs for as long as possible, but to ensure Toblerone remains on-shelf, is affordable and retains the triangular shape, we have had to reduce the weight of just two of our bars in the UK, from the wider range of available Toblerone products."

Why just the UK, you shithouses?

What we always knew as the 400g bar will now weigh 360g and the 170g will go down to 150g. Only when the said bar is Aero is this ever acceptable.

That's it, I'm changing to Terry's Chocolate Orange this Christmas. And oh my word well haven't I just found out that they've shrunk. Disgusting.


Next you'll be telling me Freddos aren't 10p and some bright spark will explain in the comments why all this is necessary.

You like this chocolate? Yeah, it's dead to us now. Credit: PA

Patrick Hulbert
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