Couples therapist says people should ask partner 10 questions for better relationship

A couples therapist has revealed the 10 questions partners should be asking one another to make sure all is well in the relationship.

Between influencers on TikTok promoting what 'healthy' relationships look like to 6am gym routines and early joint bedtimes, it all can be a little overwhelming - and annoying.

Social media's idea of perfection is obviously never how it is in real life, which should be pretty obvious. But it's easy to forget when your algorithm keeps spitting out 'couples goals' videos.

Further down the line, however, MBACP-accredited couples counsellor Debbie Keenan warns that marriages come under strain when people are caught up in the 'rat race' of trying to raise kids and work at the same time.

Around 2.87 million people across the UK are living in 'distressed' relationships, a study by Relate has shown (Getty Stock Images)

But if you don't work on yourselves as a couple, Keenan warns that the same issues won't go away when you're retired and your kids are older.

“I have seen elderly couples who haven’t properly spoken to each other for years,” she told Stylist.

That's why Keenan says each one of her questions 'are intended to help identify gaps in communication and help people understand if they’re on the right track to finding solutions to their problems'.

Keenan says to avoid getting caught up in a dysfunctional relationship when you're older, people who are in a relationship at any stage should be asking these 10 questions on a regular basis:

A couples therapist has shared the 10 questions women should be asking their partner (Getty Stock Images)

1) What is going well or not going so well?

2) Would you change anything?

3) How do you feel about our relationship?

4) What do you think are our strengths as a couple?

5) How could we strengthen our bond?

6) How would it look if this relationship was exactly how you wanted it to look?

7) What is it about our relationship that gives you the most joy?

8) What is your love language?

9) Is there anything that you think that we could work on?

10 What makes you feel most loved?

Keenan says she's seen older couples who still don't speak to each other properly (Getty Stock Images)

“These questions bring back basic communication and explore parts of a person a couple may not have spoken about for a long time. Or perhaps they’re things they’ve never spoken about before,” she said.

By asking 'what is going well and not so well', couples can potentially avoid miscommunication.

“When I ask couples what the relationship would look like if it was exactly what you wanted, many say, ‘I’d like to go back to when we spent more time together,’ or ‘I want us to talk about us more,’ the expert added.

“Visualising this can help couples realise how they can do this in reality.”