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Dating expert shares how many dates you should go on before having sex with someone

Dating expert shares how many dates you should go on before having sex with someone

It's all about establishing connections

Three dates? Six dates? Half an hour? How long do you think you should you know someone before having sex with them?

It's really up to personal preference - as long as you're not doing anything illegal, and no one's getting hurt, then go wild. But of course, there are a lot of people who believe you should get to know a person a bit first.

One of those people is Jacob Lucas, from Westbury, Wiltshire, and considering he makes a living out of helping people in their relationships, he's a fairly reliable source.

Is one date good enough?

The 30-year-old dating expert has expressed belief that having sex with someone before you've had chance to form an emotional bond results in the development of a 'negative mental connotation' with sex.

As a result, the relationship is less likely to last.

"In real layman's terms, stop having sex with idiots that have red flags and who you know isn't serious about committing," he said.

However, by waiting to 'work out if someone's good for you', the romance might stand a better chance.

It's a fine line, though, because Lucas has also warned against swearing against sex for a period of time, explaining: "Going celibate means hyper-fixating on sex as the only goal of your dating life.

"You need re-evaluate how you see it - and see it as something you do with someone you actually like."

Jacob says his method is tried and tested.

So, where's the sweet spot? No, not that sweet spot - that comes later.

Well, Lucas explained: "If you meet someone new, and you're having sex too fast, you can't expect that person to go for a long term relationship. Because then, you have set the foundations as just sex."

To build something 'long term', then, Lucas recommends waiting until you've had three dates with the person before jumping into bed.

"Waiting three dates means you have time to form an emotional bond rather than it being just physical," he said.

"I tell all my clients, wait until the third date before having sex.

"If you want something long-term but have sex straight away, there isn't a chance to build emotional intimacy - it's just physical."

Lucas thinks waiting will make the relationship more likely to last.

Lucas believes that waiting three dates will reduce the chance of you getting ghosted, because the other person will see you as 'relationship material' and know you're serious about something longer-term.

He continued: "A lot of my clients who wait until the third date end up in long term relationships. If you want a relationship but you have sex too soon, it just won't last - you need to get to know them.

"It's an old method, but it works, and sometimes things don’t need to be fixed."

So that's what Lucas thinks, but this is where the hard part comes in: are you able to resist, and make it to that three date mark?

Featured Image Credit: SWNS/Shutterstock

Topics: Sex and Relationships