The ‘Husband Calling Contest’ winners are a force to be reckoned with
Some people compete in chilli-eating contests, others take part in cheese-rolling competitions - but only a select few are right for Iowa State Fair's Husband Calling Competition.
The women of the midwest are no joke when it comes to yelling, roaring, and shrieking, especially when a prize of... *checks notes* a ribbon and five dollars is at stake. I promise this will be the funniest thing you watch today:
The Husband Calling Contest is a time-honoured tradition at the Iowa State Fair.
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In the hopes of getting the coveted first place ribbon (and five dollars), women use lots of different calling methods.
Some competitors, like our delightful fifth-place contestant in the above 2017 clip, choose to go for a few different names in their call.
"Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob," she starts, before mixing things up with an unexpected: "Hurry, hurry! Robert Dean!"
Others, like 2017 champion Bonnie Swalwell Eilert, opt for a simple, yet effective ear-damaging shriek.
Speaking to PBS about her win, Bonnie said that she had won the contest 'many times', even though her husband Roy wasn't too fond of the idea at first.
The following year, 65-year-old Rose Beauregard was crowned the champion husband caller - a title she had been pining for for years.
Rose told Radio Iowa after her win that she had been competing in the contest since 2003 in the hopes of one day taking home the trophy - er... five dollars.
With 15 years of experience, Rose had some tips for any other aspiring husband-callers who are thinking of entering.
For one thing, Rose thinks it helps to have a husband with two syllables in his first name, like her husband Clifford.
Secondly, make sure you get lots of practice in before the big day.
"I do practice on my husband, but I do more practicing on my grandson and my camping club," she said.
Now that she has won the contest once, Rose is finished calling her husband - at least competitively.
"I just wanted to win one time," she said. "The older I get, the harder it is to take that deep breath."
Last summer, it was 58-year-old Dawn Mennear who took first place - even though she didn't have a husband to call.
Instead, Dawn went for a never-before-seen tactic: calling for a husband.
"Calling all single men between 40 and 60, I am looking for a husband," she yelled as part of her entry.
"I am single, I work full-time, own my own house, I'm lonely. So somebody answer this damn personal. I want a husband now!"
If you don't qualify for Iowa's Husband Calling competition, fear not; there are plenty more contests to take part in.
If calling is your thing, there are plenty of options for you, whether it's Mom Calling, Duck Calling, Turkey Calling, or Chicken Calling (each winner gets, you guessed it, five dollars and a ribbon).
Otherwise, you could take part in the Mother-Daughter Look-A-Like contest, try your hand at competitive grocery work with the Best Bagger contest, or show off those sexy calves with the Mr Legs pageant.
There really is something for everyone.
Ali Condon