Warning: This article contains discussion of drug addiction and suicide which some readers may find distressing.
A former ketamine addict who was ‘p**sing red Fanta and jelly’ every day has opened up about refusing a bladder removal before he finally sought help.
Jack Curran was first introduced to the Class B substance at the age of about 16, back in 2011, when he’d use it socially after drinking.
At first, the lad ‘never really liked' the drug, finding its impact ‘too powerful’, but within a few years, he was completely addicted and ‘living to use, using to live’ following an injury and receiving an autoimmune disease diagnosis.
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By 2015, Jack had swapped his daily use of cannabis for ketamine, and he tells LADbible his decline was ‘absolutely rapid’ as suicide eventually became a fear.
Originally from London, the 29-year-old had been to rehab twice before he decided to seek help one more time in 2022, and now he's nearly three years sober, completing a counselling qualification and working at an Essex treatment centre.
His addiction, though, has had ‘life-long consequences’. Ketamine had become the same as ‘eating and drinking’ for Jack as he went from using a gram a day to eventually stocking up on ‘nine ounces to last a week’.
Normal bodily functions most take for granted became excruciating rituals, leaving him 'urinating jelly’ and unable to eat.
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‘Ketamine bladder’ is a common side effect of abuse, and before his first rehab stint in 2016, Jack says it started with retention, rather than incontinence.
“Through constant straining all day, I got a bruise in my pubic area,” he tells us. “I rung my dad all worried because I didn’t know what to do.
"I’ve had pains where it stung, I’ve had blood and a little bit of jelly but I’d never had where it didn’t come out.”
Jack had to be treated for the fluid retention and was sent to rehab as a result but relapsed within three days.
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“I was living to use, using to live," he admits. "Plain and simple. My bladder went downhill rapidly.
“On an everyday basis I would be p**sing red-like Fanta, pure blood. I’d be urinating jelly, I’d have so much pain in my bladder that the only way I could go for a wee was in the bath or, to be real, I had to put my finger on my bum and push my prostate which would then push my bladder to release it. It was absolutely horrendous.”
Jack resisted sharing his problems due to embarrassment and as his ketamine use increased, his bladder issues got worse.
Using ‘all day every day’ and ending up ‘constantly’ in nappies, his body was paying the price and specialists wanted to take out the organ. However, the lad ‘outright refused’ despite it being a saviour for many.
“I had a friend who killed himself due to all that stuff,” he explains, having lost several friends to suicide due to ketamine.
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“When I look back at it, I think, ‘Wow, how did I not take that as a warning?’ A good friend of mine killed himself because of the pain and I never took it as a warning because I thought it would never happen to me.”
Instead, he used to escape the pain.
At his height of addiction (to both ketamine and painkillers), Jack was passing 'jelly' on a daily basis, experiencing an ‘extreme electrocution’ pain down into his legs, and felt as though his 'bladder was going to fall out’.
Everything came to a head at Christmas 2022, when: “I was upstairs, staring at a pack at OxyContin, sitting there in a nappy and nothing else. I could look at my shoulder blades, see my ribs, I looked like death.”
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Feeling ‘alone’ despite having a lovely family, Jack found himself ‘utterly demoralised’ with no self-worth.
“I was looking at this pack of OxyContin thinking ‘do you know what, I can’t do this anymore, I know why my friends killed themselves’,” he adds.
This was the first time Jack had ‘some willingness to go through with' suicide, but said to his dad: “I’m going to die, and I know I’m going to die within the next few months. If it’s not through natural death, it will be from killing myself. I need more help.”
His family pulled the money together and in January 2023, he entered treatment again.
“I walked in there 6st 2lb on a walking stick, I was wearing a nappy, I was skin and bone and I was heavily addicted to OxyContin and ketamine.”
Jack ‘surrendered’ to addiction, acknowledging he was ‘finally defeated’ with no other choice but to ‘change his whole life’.
And he absolutely did, building up his life in recovery as he began volunteering at the treatment centre.
“I got involved in a 12-step fellowship and I saw people in there who loved me for the person I was,” Jack says, “a broken kid.”
While he put the work in, his bladder also began to recover. “I was still wearing nappies three to six months in, I was still getting up for the toilet and it wasn’t until about 14 months in that my bladder slowly started having noticeable differences,” he explains.
“I wasn’t getting electrocuting pain anymore, there was no blood, there was no jelly.”
Nowadays, he still gets up for the toilet about two or three times at night, confirmed ‘to be forever’.
“These are the long-term effects that ketamine users have to understand,” Jack adds. “This is not 'you go into treatment and come out the epitome of health'. That ain’t the truth, some of the consequences are life-long.”
Spreading this message as much as he can to others on social media, Jack is now working at a treatment centre while also training to be a counsellor.
He says his bladder issues and autoimmune disease means he can’t do any kind of physical work and was essentially left with ‘no CV’ due to his years of addiction.
But now, expecting a baby with his partner, Jack can proudly say: “My life has grown massively.”
Ketamine bladder syndrome is a very serious problem associated with chronic use of the drug and medical professionals may carry out bladder removal in order to prevent further complications such as issues for the liver and kidneys. If you have concerns, always seek medical advice from a healthcare professional or access resources from the NHS.
If you want friendly, confidential advice about drugs, you can talk to FRANK. You can call 0300 123 6600, text 82111 or contact through their website 24/7, or livechat from 2pm-6pm any day of the week.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123 or contact Harmless by visiting their website https://harmless.org.uk.
Topics: Mental Health, Health, Drugs
Jess Battison