One man is trying to prove that he has the longest beard in the UK, a GOAT(ee) of facial hair, if you will.
It all started when a Reddit user @teedyay posted a pic of his bid for best beard.
Clearly not one to do things by half, @teedyay started off his post strong, saying: "I assert that I have the longest beard in the UK, but I can't prove it. Do you know of a longer one? (93cm / 36.5 inches. 7 years.)"
We aren't good with measurements but that's a pretty long beard by anyone's standards.
While Reddit users agreed that the beard was impressive, they were more concerned with day-to-day logistics.
One user said: "Impressive. Do you sling it over your shoulder to pee?"
To which @teedyay responded: "I tuck it in my back pocket. Over the shoulder is unreliable - sometimes it flops back round at an inopportune moment."
'Flops back around' aren't really the words you want to hear when describing someone's facial hair but hey-ho.
Another made what we thought was a rude assumption: "Tell me you're a computer programmer without telling me you're a computer programmer."
But, in a stunning turn of events, @teedyay is actually a coder: "Ha! Yes, I have been coding since I was 10. I also fit the stereotype by playing a lot of board games, but buck the trend by not being interested in craft ales."
Others urged our bearded hero to enter an official competition, saying: "You can get in touch with Guinness book of records and apply to set a record."
But, alas, @teedyay had already checked and it turns out there's no competition (yet) for the best beard in the UK.
With the Reddit user confirming: "Sadly no. They only care about world records, not national ones. The world record is about 2.5m, so I'm not even close."
Yep, 2.5 metres, 8 feet, or 8 big subs, which is how we do most of our measuring.
And that ginormous beard belongs to Sarwan Singh and was verified by Guinness World Records in Surrey, British Columbia, Canada, in 2011.
Still, @teedyay's beard is the winner of our 'probably the best beard in the UK' award, which doesn't exist but is very, very prestigious.
Featured Image Credit: Reddit: teedyay / Alamy
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