• iconNews
  • videos
  • entertainment
  • Home
  • News
    • UK News
    • US News
    • Australia
    • Ireland
    • World News
    • Weird News
    • Viral News
    • Sport
    • Technology
    • Science
    • True Crime
    • Travel
  • Entertainment
    • Celebrity
    • TV & Film
    • Netflix
    • Music
    • Gaming
    • TikTok
  • LAD Originals
    • Say Maaate to a Mate
    • Daily Ladness
    • Lad Files
    • UOKM8?
    • FreeToBe
    • Extinct
    • Citizen Reef
  • Advertise
  • Terms
  • Privacy & Cookies
  • LADbible Group
  • UNILAD
  • SPORTbible
  • GAMINGbible
  • Tyla
  • UNILAD Tech
  • FOODbible
  • License Our Content
  • About Us & Contact
  • Jobs
  • Latest
  • Topics A-Z
  • Authors
Facebook
Instagram
X
Threads
Snapchat
TikTok
YouTube

LAD Entertainment

YouTube

LAD Stories

Submit Your Content
Man With Rare Condition Explains Why He'll Never Date A Kirsty

Home> Community

Updated 12:33 3 Aug 2022 GMT+1Published 12:27 3 Aug 2022 GMT+1

Man With Rare Condition Explains Why He'll Never Date A Kirsty

A man with a rare condition explains why he'll never date a woman called Kirsty.

Shola Lee

Shola Lee

A man with a rare condition will never date a woman called Kirsty. Watch him explain why below:

In 2009, Henry Gray, 23, discovered that he had lexical-gustatory synaesthesia, a condition that blurs the senses, meaning that he can often smell or taste while hearing.

So, would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?

Advert

We're not sure, but according to Henry, the name Kirsty smells of piss.

And that's not even the worst one, with the barman from Newcastle saying: "I've always associated words and names with tastes, smells and feelings - it's all I've ever known."

So, what do Harry Styles, Donald Trump and Kate Middleton's names taste/feel like?

Well, according to Henry, Harry is 'hair sticking up like telephone wires', while Donald is a 'deflating rubber duck', and we imagine he's heard that one before.

Meanwhile, Kate is 'vaguely like jaggedly cutting cloth with a knife in a church and I can hear it', which is super specific.

Advert

Henry discovered he had the condition in 2009, when he kept commenting on his classmates names.
SWNS

The comparisons don't stop there, apparently: "Cameron Diaz is like a sparkly disco ball slowly rotating and Jennifer Lawrence is like sniffing the inside of a shoe."

While matching celebrity names to smells seems like a fun party trick, Henry's condition meant that he had to change halls at university, large in part, because his roommates' names smelt.

He said: "At university when I moved into halls I was in a flat with a Duncan, Kirsty and Elijah.

"I had to change accommodation because they're some of the worst names - Ducan is like a bird dipped in smoky bacon crisps, Kirsty is a urine smell and Elijah is like liking an eyeball."

Advert

He added: "I couldn't form a friendship with them or live with them so I changed halls."

Henry even compiled a list, which you can see below.
SWNS

We'd probably do the same to be fair, and despite the room moving, Henry quite likes his condition.

He said: "Most of the time I quite like having synaesthesia and it doesn’t get in the way.

“I’m a bartender at a pub so whenever I look at people's ID I get a strong sense of the taste and smell.

Advert

“Sometimes it could be an image or feeling - like Leanne is a rose leaning on a window."

Meanwhile, the name Alice is like sliced apples, and Francessca is 'silky warm chocolate coffee.'

Ian, however, is like having a 'sticky, blocker ear,' and incase you're wondering what your name smells like, here's a list Henry compiled below:


Top female names

Advert

Safa - Espresso-soaked sponge cake

Abby - Orange Hubba Bubba

Hayley - Faint soft music


Top male names

Mitchell - Stretchy cheesy shell pasta

Theo - Cotton ball in mouth

Oscar - Citrus orange juice

Martin - Smarties

Bailey - Warm milk


Worst female names

Mary - A pile of unwashed pink bed sheets faintly smelling of damp

Kate - The sensation of burning myself on ice, like falling over on an ice rink and scraping your skin on dry ice

Natalie - Like broken wooden splinters in my mouth

Gertrude - Tastes like when you swallow back your own sick

Daisy - Sickly sweet butter that’s been left out in the sun and it’s turned orange

Arabella - A long smelly sock

Danika - Sharp segments of ready salted crisps lodged in my throat

Vicky - Like biting into shattered glass.

Brittany - Sensation of having my hair caught in something and pulled


Worst male names

Harrison - It’s like an itch on my body that I can’t scratch, it’s everywhere and nowhere - I don’t even like saying ‘Harrison’

Elijah - Like licking an eyeball - makes my skin crawl to say it

Rupert - A beer burp

Brad - The sensation of rope burn

Dylan - A toilet seat

Braydon - Genuinely provokes horse manure smeared on a wooden wall

Teddy - Beige unwashed settee covers

Hafsah - Feels like running my fingers through an old person's greasy thin hair

Ian - A horrible name! It’s like having a sticky, blocked ear, all gammy and waxy - I guess like the sensation of earache

Warren - Feels like heartburn

Featured Image Credit: SWNS / Doug Peters / Alamy Stock Photo

Topics: News, UK News, Health

Shola Lee
Shola Lee

Advert

Advert

Advert

Choose your content:

3 days ago
7 days ago
  • SuppliedSupplied
    3 days ago

    Sex expert explains why trend is so popular as hotwife reveals ‘what everyone gets wrong’ about lifestyle

    Carli Foster has lifted the lid on what it's really like to be a hotwife

    Community
  • ITVITV
    7 days ago

    Woman who identifies as a Pomeranian explains relationship with 'handler' who walks her

    Milk revealed all on identifying as a dog and how it affects her life

    Community
  • RedditReddit
    7 days ago

    Truth behind huge 'doorway' as explorers discover ginormous structure in remote mountains

    The 'doorway' has caused confusion and speculation on social media

    Community
  • Getty/AFPGetty/AFP
    7 days ago

    How Hurricane Katrina murders finally got solved after evidence went missing during catastrophic natural disaster

    Hurricane Katrina slammed into New Orleans in August 2005

    Community
  • Woman addicted to ketamine who 'peed jelly' explains what ‘ket bladder’ feels like
  • Woman diagnosed with rare form of cancer after thinking she just had ‘bad case of thrush’
  • Johnny Depp explains why he took Amber Heard to trial in rare interview
  • Man who had four inches of his penis 'chopped off' due to rare diagnosis issues serious warning to others