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Couples therapists share red flags to look out for that signal relationship might be doomed
Home>Community
Updated 11:29 3 Jul 2023 GMT+1Published 17:10 2 Jul 2023 GMT+1

Couples therapists share red flags to look out for that signal relationship might be doomed

While some red flags are pretty obvious, couples therapists have provided a bunch of less obvious ones to look out for.

Callum Jones

Callum Jones

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Not all relationships are perfect, but that doesn't mean we give up on them at the first sign of trouble.

Of course, some situations there are no coming back from, with the likes of cheating coming to mind for many there.

But while that might be a pretty obvious reason as to why a relationship should end, there are certainly other red flags to keep in mind.

Several couples therapists have provided a bunch of red flags over the years to basically signify your relationship is doomed.

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BuzzFeed rounded up a bunch of responses on Reddit where therapists provide answers to couple questions.

But for some, the red flags likely sound all too familiar.

Red flags can be hard to spot, luckily, these couples therapists have you covered.
Pexels

The first potential red flag to look out for is that your partner blames you for all the issues in your relationship.

"Blaming their partner for all issues in the relationship," one therapist explained on Reddit.

"Every relationship is a partnership. Very rarely have I seen these types of issues in relationships be solely the fault of one person. Mistakes occur regardless of gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, etc.

"These issues are usually dynamic and complicated in nature. They're generally the result of cognitive, emotional, behavioural, and interpersonal patterns of each partner interacting with each other."

The next red flag is all about aggressive behaviour, something that really shouldn't be present in any relationship anyway.

The therapist explained: "If one person is saying they want to stop triggering the other person's aggressive behaviour, that's a red flag.

"I work with lots of couples where one person is aggressive and wants to take responsibility and change.

"However, if the person who is being targeted is taking responsibility for the aggression, and the aggressive partner isn't taking responsibility, I will work with the targeted partner on leaving or setting limits."

One red flag is that your partner often blames you for all your relationship problems.
Pexels

The next red flag is all regarding boundaries, something that is the majority of us know is awfully important in any relationship.

Taking to Reddit, the therapist explained: "Testing boundaries a little bit is OK, but repeatedly violating boundaries is a big red flag.

"Folks, knowing your boundaries, how to set them, and how to maintain them are so very important to your own personal well-being. Beyond that, learn how to respect other people's boundaries."

The therapist went on to say that not all boundaries are fixed during the whole term of anyone's relationship, but that usually due to the fact 'someone has earned it or lost it'.

Providing an example, the therapist added: "If you go to bed at 9pm and wake up to work out at 5am, maintain that.

"A decent person will respect that, but a non-decent person will try to bulldoze through it.

"It might look like, 'Stay up talking with me, I'm lonely,' or, 'It's romantic to talk all night.'"

Featured Image Credit: Pexels

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Callum Jones
Callum Jones

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