A polyamorous prankster was left with a massive 'hickey' on his forehead for a week after sticking a food-long dildo to it, in an attempt to cheer up his poorly girlfriend.
Michiah Stone, 27, was trying to make one of his partners, 21-year-old Alyssa Lampkins, smile on his work lunch break by transforming into a 'unicorn'.
Call centre manager Michiah slammed the enormous sex toy to the centre of his forehead earlier this month (6 July) and wiggled it round in a bid to make home care agent Alyssa laugh.
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After 30 seconds of jiggling the girthy $30 (£23) sex aid around, he tugged it off with an audible 'plop' leaving Alyssa open-mouthed at the huge purple bruise that bloomed on his forehead.
Less than half an hour later red-faced Michiah had to go back to work and bat off questions from curious colleagues.
Michiah was left with the unwelcome reminder on his head for six days until the two-inch wide injury faded.
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Since sharing his antics online, Michiah says it's happened to more people than he expected, jokingly calling it a 'silent pandemic'.
Michiah, from Knoxville, Tennessee, US, said: "My girlfriend wasn't feeling too well that day when it arrived in the mail. I tried to cheer her up so suctioned it on my head and wiggled my head back and forth getting it to jostle around.
"She gave me this ridiculous look and started to smile so I yanked it off and the next thing I know her eyes went super wide and she put her hand over her mouth in shock. She then said, 'You've just left the biggest bruise on your head.'
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"I was on my lunch break from work when this happened so I had to go to work not 30 minutes later. My colleagues all asked what happened and I was like, 'I'm not going to comment on that.'
"My boss is a real light-hearted guy and both he and his wife are friends with me on Facebook, they took it really well. He said it gave new meaning to the word 'd***head'.
"It was stuck to my head for probably only 30 seconds and I paid for it for a week."
Prankster Michiah said he'd ordered the sex aid as a gift for Alyssa, his girlfriend of seven months, after it was recommended to her by his other girlfriend.
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Michiah said: "My girlfriend and I are sex positive and I ordered the toy for her. We're polyamorous - one of my other girlfriends had ordered a similar dildo.
"As they're friends they'd talked about it and Alyssa said she wanted one."
"When it got here it was bigger than expected. She's rather tiny so it's almost too big for her so we just decided to have fun with it as a novelty item.
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"I was being a unicorn to cheer Alyssa up. I just figured I would have a penis horn for a minute and make it wobble around. It was enough to make her laugh and then here we are.
"Since sharing what happened to me, I've learned that this is a much more common problem that I would have guessed. It's a silent pandemic in the world that needs to be spoken about more.
"I would also advise people to be mindful about what can happen if you decide to have some fun being a unicorn with a penis horn."
Let this be a lesson to us all...
Featured Image Credit: Kennedy News and Media