James Moorhouse
Although the British empire has been around for nearly 400 years now, there seems to be an inherent belief among Brits that everyone we encounter should be able to understand English perfectly.
It's fair to say that when it comes to tourism and holidays, Brits don't exactly have the best reputation for embracing different cultures, with many of us not even bothering to learn hello or thank you when visiting a new country, instead relying on locals to comprehend what we're saying in accented English.
While English might well be the language of international business and trade, both Mandarin and Spanish have more speakers worldwide, and yet the chances of us starting mandatory Mandarin lessons in school seems unlikely to say the least.
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And while the extremely long words in German or the symbols in Chinese might seem strange to us, mastering the English language is also a near-impossible task, given our love of idioms and phrases like 'hold your horses', or 'got your goat'. Have you ever tried explaining that to someone that doesn't have English as a first language?
A viral TikTok video from multilingual bloke @languagesimp has let people know what the Anglo lingo sounds like to people who don't understand it.
The effect is a little strange for those of us who do speak English, with one person commenting: “I felt like I should understand what he was saying.”
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Another asked: “You are telling me people hear me talking like a Sim?”
While someone else wrote: “I feel like I understand what he's saying, but I also don't.”
A fourth person said: “This sounds right… but it’s not… ”
As you can hear in the video, it sounds pretty peculiar but even turning up the volume and listening very closely won't allow you to understand fully, as he's basically just saying nonsense words but with the sort of tone and diction that makes you feel like you should be getting every word.
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When it comes to understanding different languages I feel I've got more experience than most, given that my partner's parents do not understand a word of English, and listening in on their conversations sounds very similar to this, as I desperately try to pick out the odd word as they speak rapid Spanish. It turns out the two minute daily Duolingo lesson isn't enough to become fluent.
In terms of the English language, foreigners have lots of less-than-complimentary notes from what they've heard so far, and it includes:
So, next time you're on holiday, maybe make the effort to get a dictionary or use google translate, rather than just assuming, because to assume is to make an ass out of you and me.
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There I go with another British idiom, maybe I'm part of the problem.