What if there was a way to determine the absolute best meals to order from your local Spoons without having to test out every single thing on its massive menu?
Well, one former employee has got you covered with her top ten menu items as well as how to order them for the very best meals the pub chain has to offer.
TikToker Millie Trenholm told her followers that, after her stint working at Wetherspoons, she definitively knew what the best things to order were, and she's sharing the knowledge with us regular folk.
It's times like these that we must pause and give thanks for the glorious gift of TikTok and the internet at large. This is precisely what it should be used for.
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Millie, from Teesside, was also kind enough to let us know the common mistakes we make while ordering and pointed out the little adjustments we can make to guarantee a great meal.
For starters, she picked a classic: Scampi, chips and peas. But there are some stipulations.
"If you get garden peas you are disgusting and if you don’t get tartare sauce then what are you doing with your life?"
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She then added that it was essential the kitchen didn't overcook her scampi, otherwise she wouldn't be a 'happy bunny'.
Next, Millie recommended getting the Pasta Alfredo, but specifically with a side order of cheesy garlic bread.
"Put your pasta in it, wrap it up, Alfredo and cheesy garlic bread wrap," she said, slamming her fist on the table in satisfaction.
The third item on Millie's list was a simple ham and cheese panini - with some specific requirements.
"They are absolutely peng but only if they are toasted to perfection. No, I did not ask for a sandwich, I did not ask for it all squishy. I asked for a panini, and that is what I want.
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"Next note: not with chips, not on its own, not with a side salad. But with a Spoons tomato and basil soup on the side.
"Dip it in. It's like ketchup but better!"
Hey, she knows what she likes!
Millie also rates the BBQ buttermilk burger, ideally with a side of coleslaw that you can then add to the burger.
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"The only downside," she says, "is when the chips on the side sometimes taste a bit onion ring-y and if you've ever had them you know exactly what I'm talking about."
And finally, the Wetherspoons chicken wings are a must, as far as Millie is concerned - but it heavily depends on what dipping sauce you get.
“The blue cheese sauce on the side is a no, and so is the naga chilli one because I’m not a spicy girl," she began.
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"I have a thing about blue cheese, it makes me actually gag.
“However, swap those sauces out for a garlic or something and you’ve got an unbelievable dish of food."
To be fair, that last one sounds like it's just down to a matter of taste but, all in all, I'd call that a pretty solid list of recommendations.
Everyone be sure to say thank you to Millie after testing these out for yourself - unless, of course, you didn't follow her strict instructions. Judging by how intensely she spoke about those dishes, you might be better off keeping that detail to yourself.
Featured Image Credit: TikTok/@theboujeeburger / mauritius images GmbH / Alamy Stock PhotoTopics: Food And Drink, TikTok, Wetherspoons