Why married couples stop having sex as Emily Ratajkowski makes admission
Emily Ratajkowski has opened up about the challenges of motherhood after making a candid admission about her sex life following the birth of her son.
The supermodel reflected on how becoming a parent dramatically changed her relationship and marriage with ex-husband Sebastian Bear-McClard.
She admitted in an essay for The Cut that when the pair welcomed Sylvester in 2021, the traumatic delivery and the difficult transition into life as a new mother.
Ratajkowski wrote that within six months of their son's birth, she and her husband had stopped having sex, and less than a year later they separated.
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The couple, who married in 2018 after a whirlwind romance, announced their split in 2022.
Her experience, however, is a reality many couples share after having children.
The arrival of a baby often brings stress and a loss of personal time, all of which can impact intimacy.
While many assume a decline in sexual activity signals a failing relationship, experts suggest the reasons can be more complex.
Somatic therapist Briony Montgomery told VICE that feeling safe with your partner can actually suppress sexual desire.
That adrenaline and anticipation the body was running on earlier on in the relationship, and during the honeymoon, can decrease over time.
Montgomery insists that it isn’t a bad thing, telling the outlet: “When your body is constantly scanning for what might go wrong, it’s very difficult to drop into pleasure.”
Psychologist Taash Balakas added: “Research shows that people who fear being cared for also report higher anxiety and stress.
“It’s not about pride, it’s about protection.”
If you’ve been hit with a hard breakup, sometimes the nervous system doesn't know how to react.
“Softening doesn’t mean losing your independence,” she suggests.
“It means allowing yourself to experience care without assuming it will disappear.”
Now, in her essay, Ratajkowski said: "I hated the condescending way people looked at me in the wake of my breakup. Their furrowed brows, the pity in their faces as they delivered an 'I’m so sorry, Emily'.
"I couldn’t stand my pathetic reflection in their eyes. They saw me as someone who was unwanted, who had been left. A reject with the burden of a needy, hungry, two-foot-tall sidekick."
She spoke of how even as a kid, she 'reasoned that of all the things I could grow up to be, it was crucial to avoid becoming a single mom'.
"The term itself could be lodged as an insult. Having a child with the wrong man was the fastest way to ruin your life as a woman - it meant having no freedom, no choices, no emergency exit. All baggage and no security."
Ratajkowski also admitted she'd never had a one-night stand before her divorce, saying that she thought keeping her body count low was 'insurance'.
"I thought it meant no one would ever cheat on me, that I’d always be loved, happy, and safe," she wrote. "I didn’t f**k anyone I wasn’t pretty sure would fall in love with me because I wanted to be precious."
Over the years, Ratajkowski has learned to embrace this new chapter of her life and has decided to 'f**k my way into a new kind of woman'
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Emily Ratajkowski
Anish Vij