The Inspired Unemployed blame their retirement from Swisse on “instant rizz”

The Inspired Unemployed’s Jack Steele and Matt Ford have officially stepped down from their roles as Chief Gummies Officers (CGOs) at Swisse Wellness.

In a “press conference”’ uploaded to YouTube, the pair shared that their “retirement from employment” was because “the current Swisse Gummies range ‘already slays’”.

Steele and Ford took on the CGO positions in March 2024. In their short stint with the supplement brand, the gents were able to formulate a few ideas for new gummies that the company could implement — “Slay the Day”, “Anti-Hangxiety” and even “Emotional Support” gummies.

The real gag is the concept they selected in the end. Steele and Ford wanted to give Swisse customers a chance to up their dating success rate with their concept “Instant Rizz” gummies. The hope was that the chewables would give its user five times more Rizz (AKA charisma) and 100% reply rate. Somewhere out there, that’s someone’s dream.

“It turns out…Instant Rizz is way harder to bottle than we expected,” said Jack Steele.

But it’s not just the Rizz Gummies that affected their employment. Ford also complained about the “early mornings” and people being inconsiderate about his lactose intolerance by not labelling the milks.

From this very elaborate April Fools’ Day bit, at least we know one thing’s for sure…rizz can’t be manufactured.

Check out the full gag on the Swisse Australia website.