Robbie Williams Admits To S****ing In His Own Hand Last Year
Robbie Williams has made the bizarre confession that he accidentally s*** into his own hands on an aeroplane whilst he was trying to fart quietly.
I'd love to say we've all been there, but - well - I'm not sure that we all have. This one might be all on Robbie, sadly.
Anyway, Williams and his wife Ayda Field - imagine making this confession in front of your significant other - were on a podcast called The Secret's Out with vlogger Alfie Deyes when the former Take That star let slip his unnecessary revelation.
The secret is definitely out now, Rob.
The 46-year-old explained how he was on an aeroplane, which can make even the best of us a bit gassy, when he decided to attempt to quietly squeeze a trump out at 20,000 feet.
Unfortunately, a technique that he thought he had down completely failed him, with disgusting consequences.
His 41-year-old wife asked him: "Was I on this flight with you because you fart a lot when I'm on flights with you. Is that because you don't want to inflict any more pain on yourself?"
Then, beginning his tale, Robbie explained: "I'm very good with not farting on public flights now. Anyway, so I needed to get rid of the gas.
"And what I do is so that nobody can hear it's me, I have a sort of '2 finger silencer' where I just pull the cheek. A semi-lift cheek pull. It's definitely a silencer. I'm 45. I'm really good at this now."
Ayda expressed some doubts about this particular technique of her husbands, and it would seem that she's dead right, at least in this instance.
Williams continued: "Anyway. So I pulled the cheek apart. Let rip and followed through and s*** in my hand."
The shocked podcast host then asked Robbie how old he was when this happened to him, because this could surely only happen to someone under the age of 10 years old, right?
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Robbie confirmed that the unfortunate - and most certainly avoidable - accident happened just last year.
It has a happy ending, though. Robbie concluded: "Fortunately, I got none of it on the fabric."
But wait, there's more.
Ayda then confessed that she's got her own story similar to this. Well, it's not quite as unusual, but here we go anyway.
She explained: "My secret is similar. I mean, obviously it doesn't land in my hand but...I went on a girls' birthday party in Ibiza.
"So we went to this fish restaurant on the beach and I started to eat the food and I was like, 'I'm not feeling too good'. My stomach's a bit upset.
"So, we go into this Mercado, a supermarket later on and we're walking down the aisle. I was like, 'oh, I feel terrible' and a bit of gas came out... And I looked down and it wasn't just gas. It came out.
"I had actually s*** myself a little bit in the supermarket, so there was just a drop of s*** right there. And I was like, erm and ah, it was horrible. It was awful.
"I was looking for napkins. Then I came waddling down the aisle saying 'I need a tissue right now. I've just s*** myself! I did clean up and then I had waddle to the pub and take off what was my bathing suit underneath.
"I had to 'au naturel' under my bathing suit cover.
"It's fine for you [Robbie] because everyone knows you're disgusting. But I've just said that I've s*at myself in a supermarket in Ibiza. On the floor in a foreign country. I did clean it, though. I doubt Rob cleaned his."
Great, aren't you glad we all know about this now? This f***ing year, guys.
Featured Image Credit: PA