Imagine... you're out for a Christmas karaoke sesh, belting out 'Fairytale of New York' and that line inevitably arrives.
Your duet partner has called you a bum, a punk - and the rest of it - but the usual responding lyrics that we've all long sang along to have been swapped for something less offensive.
The 65-year-old was responsible for co-writing ‘Fairytale of New York’ with Jem Finer, but the lyrics have sparked controversy in recent years.
It's because of a row over the part where Kirsty MacColl sings 'you scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy f****t' - due to it obviously being a homophobic slur, the line has been redacted and replaced in many versions of 'Fairy Tale of New York'.
By cleverly splicing in some audio of the late star singing a revised version, the offending line has now been replaced with 'you're cheap and you're haggard'.
But not everyone is a fan of the substitution - leaving music lovers to come up with their own ideas.
If you just aren't vibing with the swap, you could always adopt this dad's comical suggestion to sing instead when you've had a bit too much eggnog and end up on karaoke.
James Cooray Smith came up with an even better rhyme - which is also very relatable for thousands of TV fans - which still maintains a 'mid-80s vibe' while 'avoiding offence'.
So, what is the suggested swap that will be music to the ears of 80s fans? (According to James).
The dad said: "Simply rewrite the lyrics to be 'You scumbag, you maggot, you’ve taped over Taggart', thus both avoiding offence and retaining a mid 80s vibes."
Taping over Taggart is an argument many couples who tuned into the crime drama may have had over the years - especially as it had a staggering 27-season run and only wrapped up in 2010.
James expects Scots and Brits to be particularly inclined to embrace his suggestion, as Taggart fans are likely to prefer paying homage to the beloved show during a rendition of the festive track, instead of dubbing someone 'haggard'.
It's not a groundbreaking proposal by any means, as other amateur comedians have already opted for the lyric change as a funnier replacement when singing 'Fairy Tale of New York'.
But nonetheless, internet users were impressed with James' efforts and applauded him online.
One said: "Far better line than the original. Chapeau."
Another wrote: "You will never top this tweet."
Others simply dubbed it 'genius' and 'brilliant', and I expect the rest ran straight to the speakers to put The Pogues' most famous track on to test out the dad's replacement.Featured Image Credit: Jo Hale/Tim Roney/Getty Images