Couple in one-sided open marriage explain how dynamic actually works
Karla Houston and her husband have been married for nine years. But while he remains monogamous, she is allowed to sleep with other people.
The 34-year-old describes it as a ‘mono-polo dynamic’ as she is ‘bi married and solo dating’ - a little like 'hot-wifing' you could say.
While it might not be the most traditional marriage in either a polyamorous or monogamous take, the one-sided open relationship works for the couple from California.
They decided to explore this dynamic in 2022 and while there has been some jealousy, they place an importance on ‘communication rather than avoidance’.
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Explaining their relationship on Instagram as ‘mono-poly dynamic’, Karla wrote: “What that means for us is that we don’t share the same relationship orientation, but we do share honesty about what’s true for each of us.”
She added that this kind of marriage can ‘vary a lot depending on the people involved’ and for them, it’s ‘not about forcing symmetry’.
“It’s about staying clear on who we are and not erasing that in order to make it easier to explain,” Karla said.
She told The New York Post that they adopted this dynamic after many ‘honest conversations, self-reflection, and learning what felt authentic for both of us, rather than trying to force ourselves into a traditional mold that no longer fully reflected our reality’.
Karla added: “I personally resonate a lot with relationship anarchy, so for me, it’s less about ranking relationships and more about allowing people the autonomy to define relationships in ways that feel authentic and consensual for them.”
The polyamorous woman says their marriage requires more ‘communication and emotional transparency’ than a lot of traditional set-ups.
She also reckons that negativity towards their agreement says more about gender roles.
“There’s often a double standard in society where men having multiple partners is normalised or even celebrated in some spaces, while women who openly explore their sexuality or non-monogamy are judged much more harshly,” Karla explained.
“My husband is not controlling me, and I’m not hiding who I am to preserve a traditional image of marriage. We’ve built relationships based on choice, trust, and honesty rather than rigid gender roles.”
Speaking on Instagram previously, Karla said that she is now at a point where: “Monogamy is something I know I could never give another man and polyamory is not something I would practice if I didn’t feel aligned. Being accepted in that truth has granted both of us freedom.”
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Jess Battison