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Dating expert reveals bedroom act that is ‘major turn off’ for women that men think is essential

Home> Lifestyle

Updated 14:08 17 Jan 2026 GMTPublished 12:05 17 Jan 2026 GMT

Dating expert reveals bedroom act that is ‘major turn off’ for women that men think is essential

Sorry guys, apparently it's not essential at all

Jess Battison

Jess Battison

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Yeah, yeah, you know exactly what your partner in the sheets wants and needs. Sure.

You might watch all the TikTok tips, have all the discussions in the group chat, and listen to all the podcasts you want, but it turns out you might not know everything.

And a dating expert has pointed out that there’s one bedroom act that straight men think is pretty much essential that’s actually a ‘major turn off’ for women.

I mean, that could already be solved by just, you know, having an actual open conversation with the woman you're sleeping with about what she actually likes and wants. But maybe it’s easier to just listen to an expert you don’t know instead – whatever makes for good sex, I don’t know.

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Not everyone cares about stamina. (Getty Stock)
Not everyone cares about stamina. (Getty Stock)

Jana Hocking is one of those on hand to provide advice as she claimed on news.com.au that the thing plenty of men do which they seem to think is right is try to go for time between the sheets.

The host of the Jana with a J podcast explained that given the choice between sex lasting 30 seconds or one hour, she and her girl mates would choose the shorter option – seeing it as the ‘biggest compliment ever’.

I mean, it’s worth pointing out that neither just half a minute or a full hour is the ideal time. A study into the sex lives of 500 couples found that men thought the ideal time was 16 minutes.

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They also reckon they lasted about nine minutes and on average made it to about six minutes. That’s timing from the point of penetration by the way, not foreplay.

And another study of 4,000 women found that they’d rather have sex last for about 25 minutes.

So, essentially, 30 seconds is too short and an hour is far too long.

Hocking reckons men may have gotten the wrong ideafrom 'ridiculous porn videos that go on forever'.

It might not actually be what your partner wants. (Getty Stock)
It might not actually be what your partner wants. (Getty Stock)

The dating expert explained women don’t want to spend ‘an hour in bed doing the same thing over and over again', and I mean, that surely sounds tedious to anyone.

Extolling the virtues of a quickie, she said it was better than a 'boring long session' and was 'less stressful' because there’s no worry of having to ‘last the distance’.

Hocking does stress that foreplay isn’t included in that ’30 seconds’, as she describes it as an ‘appetiser’.

She suggested that rather than spending ages of time on just penetration, you may prefer to put more into 'building anticipation and desire' up until the point where it all, well, climaxes. Not to mention that many women feel they get more satisfaction from this part.

So, there you go LADs, there’s no need to long it out to prove you’ve been hitting cardio at the gym, just, you know, actually find out what your partner wants.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Jess Battison
Jess Battison

Jess is a Senior Journalist with a love of all things pop culture. Her main interests include asking everyone in the office what they're having for tea, waiting for a new series of The Traitors and losing her voice at a Beyoncé concert. She graduated with a first in Journalism from City, University of London in 2021.

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@jessbattison_

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