It's perfect, isn't it, Christmas Day?
Your little brothers and sisters wake you up early; they're excited, Santa has been. You have your first beer as you watch them open their presents. You remember what it used to be like for you back when you were their age. It's not like that now, is it? But, still, Shakin' Stevens is playing on the radio and you're in the mood to quietly settle into a day of inebriation.
You do the normal stuff, the stuff you've always done: visiting relatives you haven't seen in a year, all you family falling out and then making up, putting Top of the Pops on and the Queen's Speech. And then it's time for dinner.
Credit: I Am Dönner
It's a bit different, though, this year. Your mum is in the kitchen, but she hasn't been knocking up the trimmings. Instead, she's on the phone. You listen through and hear her. Yule tide is truly here:
"Yeh, alright, mate, yeh can I have some food for delivery please? Yeh, Kebab meal four. Can I get that with four cans of coke and... hold on a sec - any of you lot want chips? - yeh, a couple of portions of chips as well. Yeh, shit load of chilli sauce on all of them. Fucking hell, we're gonna be shitting tomorrow. The chilli runs, I call it. Tell me about it, talking about a proper a 'shite Christmas' - harharhar. Yeh, nice one mate. Innabit."
Maybe it's not quite like the ones you used to know, but if one kebab house has its way it might be the future.
A Leeds kebab house and winner of the Just Eat Best Delivery Award at the British Kebab Awards 2017, I Am Dönner, is putting its own twist on the classic Christmas dinner.
Paul Baron, owner of I Am Döner, said: "I Am Döner takes pride in producing good quality kebabs, showcasing influence and inspiration from all over the world, and now embracing the Christmas spirit with the Christmas Dinner Döner Kebab."
The 'Christmas Dinner Döner Kebab' is the first of its kind and will contain honey and sage roast turkey with all the trimmings. This includes roast potatoes, Brussels sprouts, parsnip crisps, bacon fries, pork stuffing, turkey gravy and cranberry mayonnaise - all wrapped up in freshly homemade bread and made to order in store.
There will also be a 'Vegetarian Crimbo Dinner Döner' on offer containing Quorn, roast vegetables and potatoes, parsnip crisps, bacon frazzles, sage and onion stuffing, vegetarian gravy and cranberry mayonnaise, plus, both kebabs can be available as gluten-free.Featured Image Credit: I Am Dönner