Clinical psychologist gives clear answer to most commonly asked question about masturbation
Health experts have weighed in to provide a clear answer around the most commonly asked question about masturbation.
Even if you're in the happiest of relationships, you may still feel an urge to pleasure yourself.
At the end of the day, nobody knows yourself better than, well, you.
However, there is a lot of opinion surrounding whether it's OK or not to masturbate while in a relationship, with many people divided over the topic.
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Experts on the subject have since chimed in, giving us a definitive answer.
How much is too much?
It turns out there is no set amount for everyone to abide by, like some sort of rule, but it depends on each individual's 'sexual baseline', according to Dr Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD.
If you are in a relationship, the key thing is to ensure that it doesn't get in the way of getting intimate with your partner.
Often, masturbation is an easy and more 'convenient' way of doing things instead of initiating sex with them, but it shouldn't be this way, according to the health expert, as she says there is often a 'sexual desire discrepancy', meaning that you have different ideas of how often you should have sex.
Dr Suwinyattichaiporn explains: “If you have a really high sexual desire level and you only have sex with your partner once a week, you could try masturbating three or four times a week.”
Is it OK to masturbate while you're in a relationship?
The big question has a big answer.
Clinical psychologist John Mayer, PhD, has shared his thoughts on this, explaining: "From a physiological and psychological perspective, moderate masturbation is completely normal and should be viewed as a relational enhancement."
Often viewed as self-love or self-care, there are also known benefits to masturbating, some of which are stress relief and improving self-esteem.
"Masturbation improves self-confidence, reduces stress, and helps you sleep better," says sexologist Emily Morse, PhD.
Dr Suwinyattichaiporn echoes this, adding: "Even when someone is in a relationship, whether short-term or long-term, no one should feel ashamed of masturbation."
Figuring out how to do it better yourself can result in discovering something that you can communicate to your partner, which makes your joint experience in the bedroom that much more enjoyable.
Isn't it cheating though?
Some people believe that their partner wanting to masturbate without them is a form of cheating, which is false.
Dr Morse says that 'we often can't understand' why our partner may have the urge to do something without us, and can lead to even more misconceptions about self-pleasure.
Dr Mayer also notes that some people may make others feel bad about masturbating as a way to discourage or control the act, with the idea of it being a form of cheating being very false, a myth in fact.
When does it become a problem?
If masturbation starts to become between you and your partner's intimacy, then it may be time to reassess.
Psychologist Rachel Needle, PsyD, explains: "If masturbation is replacing connecting physically with your partner, then it could negatively impact the relationship."
If you avoid initiating or participating in sex and prefer masturbating, this could be a sign that something is wrong.
Dr Suwinyattichaiporn reveals: "There are people who would prefer experiencing pleasure only through masturbation because it is more efficient, more reliable, and they don’t have to initiate sex with their partner, so it’s problematic if you neglect your partner and resort to masturbation for those reasons."
Depending solely on porn while masturbating may also make it harder for your partner to get you in the mood, as it puts your brain at risk of becoming desensitised to normal intimacy in bed.
The best thing you can do when it comes to masturbation in a relationship is the same thing you should do with any subject with your partner - communicate.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle, Health, Mental Health
Joshua Nair