While the term narcissist is usually a blanket term, one expert wants you to know that there are actually four types of people to watch out for, and it’s not always easy to spot.
Dr Ramani Durvasula, PhD, a psychologist and author who teaches psychology explained the four different types of narcissists and how you know which one you’re talking to.
When speaking to MedCircle, she explained that there is approximately ten to fifteen percent of people in the world who are ‘noticeably’ narcissistic - and estimates 80 percent of narcissists are men.
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She said that when boys are told to 'toughen up' this can turn into a 'lack of empathy' as adults.
She added that the fact that 'men are also very measured on their achievements' such as their salary, job title, car and house, and these 'superficial drives' can encourage narcissistic traits.
She explained: "If a women behaves in a narcissistic way she's often checked early in the game, whereas if a boy or a man behaves that way he's not called out."
Although we’ve read so much about how to spot a narcissist, it’s not so cut and dry and there’s more than one way it presents itself.
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Here’s what she said about the four types of narcissism in the YouTube interview.
Grandiose narcissist
Dr Durvasula shared that this is the ‘Chanel suit of narcissism’ and is probably more of what you’d expect to see in a person with those traits.
She explained that this type of person is egotistical, attention-seeking, very materialistic and needs validation to feel good about themselves.
Essentially, it’s ‘your garden variety’ narcissist.
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They’ll be that businessperson who drives seven cars, wears the best clothes and only talks about themselves.
Covert narcissist
This secret narcissist is somebody who is someone ‘very put upon by the world’ but is still grandiose in nature.
They often feel like life has done them wrong, and while they’ll get mistaken for being depressed, you’ll find that antidepressants and traditional methods of help do not work.
That’s because they’re not depressed at all, they instead have a victim mindset.
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Dr Durvasula explained that these people feel like they have greatness that the world had overlooked.
She said ‘they’re hypersensitive to criticism’ and will ‘throw a tantrum’ and ‘be cold’ in response to feeling rejected.
These people think that their greatness is being under appreciated, rather than believing that they could try to do better to be successful.
Malignant narcissist
This type of narcissist is ‘more problematic’, according to the expert.
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She explained that they’ll have all the traits as a grandiose narcissist, but they’re also ‘really mean’.
So, they’ll do a lot of bad things, almost psychopathic things that hurt others.
For example Dr Durvasula said ‘they will steal money from a company, they will cheat on their partner’ and they’ll lie because ‘they’re great criminals’.
But unlike a psychopath, they do feel bad if they hurt those within their circle or family.
They won’t care if it’s someone else.
Communal narcissist
Now, this one is a narcissist that’s tricky to spot.
Dr Durvasula explained how excited she was when she read about this type because it’s astonishing.
But you’ll immediately know one person like this.
The psychologist explained that a communal narcissist is someone who commits to performative acts of community help.
This is someone who will post on social media all the time that they’re off to feed the homeless while looking like a model.
She explained this this person goes to benefits, they donate, they do a lot of good things but it’s all for praise and show.
They’ll also talk about it a lot, and it’s because they want to show off how great they are.
They’re essentially seeking validation for their good deeds.
Dr Durvasula said: "What you will see is a tremendous lack of empathy for the people they're trying to help."
Now, that’s scary.
Britt Jones