The word 'narcissist' is thrown about left, right and centre these days - but it can actually be quite difficult to differentiate between who really is an egomaniac and who is just a bit selfish when it comes down to it.
It's quite a fine line between the two, but thankfully, there are experts who can help you spot the 'crucial' signs that you might be sharing a bed with someone who is actually sucking the life out of you.
And it hits home even harder when it's coming from someone who has lived through a narcissistic relationship themselves, like trauma therapist Caroline Strawson.
Advert
The mum-of-two explained she was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) following the end of her marriage, while also suffering from depression, anxiety and self harm.
She said she only realised she had 'been married to a covert narcissist' following their split and sought to heal herself by 'blending neuroscience with trauma-informed techniques and somatic practice'.
And it worked - Caroline is thriving, has managed to turn her life around and now helps others do the same, as she's made it her 'mission' to encourage people to ditch their toxic relationships.
For those who don't know, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be defined as a need for admiration, pattern of grandiosity and lack of empathy, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
There's loads of content creators who take to social media to own their narcissistic behaviour these days, while also giving people an insight into how their minds work.
Caroline has her own six commandments for this subject too, which she wants everyone to be aware of so that they can spot whether their partner might be a narcissist before it's too late.
The author, who penned the book How To Heal After Narcissistic Abuse, told the Daily Mail: "The narcissist label has often been used to describe anyone who displays selfish or hurtful behaviour.
"But there are very important characteristics and behaviours exhibited only by narcissists that can deepen the traumatic impact they can have on your life.
"While a selfish man might display hurtful behaviours, a true narcissist has a deeper, more pervasive set of traits."
Grandiosity
We all want our partner to be confident and know their worth, but if they are walking around as though their sh*t doesn't stink, it could suggest that they are a narcissist.
Caroline explains you should keep an eye out for your beau exhibiting an 'inflated sense of self-importance', as well as possibly over-exaggerating their achievements and talents while expecting special treatment.
But if this arrogance does not 'permeate every aspect' of their identity, they might just be feeling themselves at the moment, with no malicious intent.
Need for admiration
If someone is desperate to always be the centre of attention while seeking validation and admiration from others, it could suggest there's a bit more than just simple selfishness going on.
Caroline says you should watch out for your partner becoming 'preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, and brilliance', while having an insatiable appetite for compliments and praise.
Stroking their ego isn't your full-time job, you know.
Lack of empathy
One of the most frustrating aspects of dating a narcissist is their lack of empathy, or as Caroline puts it, a 'profound inability to recognise or care about the feelings and needs of others'.
They might manage to mask their insensitivity sometimes, but the trauma therapist says it always ends up rearing its head as this is one of their 'core traits'.
If you realise that your partner cannot 'exhibit true empathy' in situations which warrant it, you might have unknowingly entered into a relationship with a heartless narcissist.
Controlling
Narcissists like to be the puppet master - so more often than not, it's their way or the highway.
Caroline explains that they often 'distort reality' to make the person they are dating doubt their perception of a situation, while using manipulation tactics to get what they want, such as gaslighting.
The mum says that if your beau is 'happy using coercive control to dominate and belittle' you, it's time to leave.
If they are 'capable of recognising wrongdoings' and willing to change their behaviour, the therapist reckons they might not actually be a full-blown narcissist.
Remorse
Picture this - you have had an almighty argument with your other half, you've both said and done things... but they just point blank refuse to take responsibility for their actions and don't feel any remorse.
A classic narcissist, is what Caroline would call this.
She said it's a major red flag if your partner 'lacks the capacity for true self-reflection and growth, unwilling or unable to acknowledge any faults and rarely, if ever, takes responsibility for his actions'.
Constant stress
If you are constantly on pins waiting for the next blow up and find yourself walking on eggshells with your other half, it might be time to find the nearest emergency exit.
Caroline explained that a lot of people trapped in narcissistic relationships experience 'chronic stress' while living in such a toxic environment where they are fearing what will happen next.
"This state can cause long-term health issues," the therapist added. "A bad relationship can cause stress but it might not result in the same level of constant hypervigilance."
Topics: News, Sex and Relationships, Dating trends, Mental Health
Olivia Burke