Sticky floors, generally crap music and questionably low priced drinks. We all know a nightclub fitting the bill. And while we know they’re really pretty awful, we secretly love them.
So it’s probably not a totally surprise to hear the ‘worst nightclub in Europe’ is here in the UK.
Located in a the city being known for its picturesque Norman cathedral and 11th-century castle, as well as a Russell Group University, it feels somewhat out of place to have quite literally the worst nightlife establishment within the vicinity.
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But such is life.
FHM once voted it as the second-worst nightclub in Europe before the actual worst club ironically burned down, leaving it to take the cake by default.
Yep, over in the city of Durham is the winning (well, losing) spot, Klute Nightclub.
Coined with the catchphrases ‘wipe your feet on the way out’ and ‘knee deep in Klute’ (gross), the establishment has become a ‘rite of passage’ for local uni students.
If I’m being honest, I couldn't see why - until I had a look at the drink prices. Coming in at just £7.50 to £8 is their range of 'Buckets & Bombs', according to the Klute Nightclub website, which include Purple Rain, 'Sex on Beach' (clearly, 'the' was far too much effort for the venue to add in) and Klute Passion variations.
On 'Quids In’ nights, which is their exclusive 'student party', drinks start at just £1.50 depending on the time of your order, while they offer £1 shots all night plus £5 ‘buckets’.
If you are brave enough to step up to the mark, it’s worth noting that the nightclub has even taken the top spot for the word ‘Klute’ on Urban Dictionary for being ‘the smallest, sweatiest ‘s*** hole I have ever had the displeasure of visiting’.
“Now exclusively for students,” the entry continues, “the music in Klute is always cheese, the students are always hammered, and the walls are always dripping with sweat.” Sounds promising.
And if you needed yet another reason to wrap your head around what makes this nightclub just so awful, Dominic Cummings, former Chief Adviser to Boris Johnson, was reportedly a doorman at Klute in his youth.
To paint a picture of just how awful Klute really is, a former punter has chimed in after experiencing a night out there during her former student days.
They told LADbible: “I went to Durham University, so it’s kind of a rite of passage that you go to Klute. I went there on my first night of ‘Freshers Week’ and said I’d never go again, but ended up returning on various other nights out when I was too drunk to realise it would be a mistake.”
Having discovered it was Europe’s worst nightclub ‘while in the queue to get in', the now 25-year-old thought it was a joke.
“But the minute I entered I realised it truly was Europe’s worst nightclub - if not the world’s worst. It absolutely does live up to the title. It’s truly disgusting…It didn’t stop me returning, though,” they admit.
Speaking of the infamous slogan, they add: “The floor was once so sticky that the sole of my left shoe ripped entirely off.”
But despite the ‘almost dungeon-like decor’, ‘non-stop unbearable’ music and ‘disgusting toilets’, this old Kluter made some lasting memories at Klute.
“In all honesty, I had some of the best nights of my life in there. It was so bad it was good.
“If I was intoxicated enough I would definitely go back again. It’s fun if you’re with a group of people who have a mutual understanding that the night is going to be truly and utterly tragic.”
LADbible has contacted a representative of Klute Nightclub for a comment.
Jess Battison