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The 'Avolatte' Is A Thing Now

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The 'Avolatte' Is A Thing Now

Avocados might be nice, but they're also bourgey as fuck.

It's safe to say the fruit is filed with houmous, granola and quinoa, as the type of food you make a point about eating if you read the Guardian, ride a single-gear bike and follow a strictly gluten free, vegan diet.

So it'll probably come as no surprised that middle-class hipsterdom has combine the avocado with every Poppy and Hugo's favourite hot drink to create the 'avolatte'...

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Yes, you're seeing that for real, it's a latte being drunk from a fucking avocado.

Who the fuck knows why it's being done - but my hope is it will inspire the I-drink-my-plain-old-instant-coffee-out-of-a-normal-mug proletariat to unite and take over: you have nothing to lose but your #HealthyEating-free chains.

lt comes after a worrying trend emerged due to people are using really sharp knives to peel avocados. Yup, the knives are going straight through their hands/fingers.

Don't believe me?

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If you search for avocado injuries on Instagram, there's a fuckload of them. This following picture is so gross that it has been blurred but I'm sure you can use your imagination...

Speaking to the Times, David Shewring, vice-president of the British Society for Surgery of the Hand, said: "Recently the health benefits of avocado have been advocated, with an increase in their popularity - and a consequent increase in related injuries."

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Believe it or not, it's a real issue. Simon Eccles, honorary secretary of the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, reckons that he sees around four patients a week at Chelsea and Westminster Hospital for avocado hands.

Eccles said: "It needs to be recognisable. Perhaps we could have a cartoon picture of an avocado with a knife, and a big red cross going through it?"

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Yeah, maybe a career move to marketing isn't in the pipeline just yet, but his heart's in the right place.

Be careful out there. Nothing is safe. Not even avocados.

Featured Image Credit: PA Images

Topics: Avocado

James Dawson
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